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View Full Version : Dog Day Disaster--Ficticious Humor at SamME's Expense!


chisoxfanatic
05-07-2002, 04:04 PM
I was kind of bored, so I came up with this idea of a storyline in less than 15 minutes. I hope you all get a kick out of this, because I know I had a blast writing it!

Heather the Redbird


Dog Day Disaster

Chicago, IL—The most bizarre of events occurred at Comiskey Park on Chicago’s south side last night. This occurrence makes the whole Bill Simonson fiasco that happened a few years ago appear as child’s play. Events such as this only happen one in a million times, and it will very likely not happen again.

Dog Day closed out the series between the Chicago White Sox and the Chicago Cubs. The game progressed as any typical game, with the Sox really beating up on the Cubs, until the bottom of the seventh inning. Apparently the dog of one of the Sox fan patrons was given a little too much beer during the game and got a little tipsy. This is where a huge turn of events occurred.

The unnamed dog got away from his owner, jumped onto the playing field, and bolted right for right field—where all-star RF Sammy Sosa was positioned. After wrestling Sosa to the ground, the dog proceeded by biting off Sosa’s throwing arm. Sosa was immediately rushed to Rush Presbyterian Hospital. With Sosa out, the White Sox continued to pound lumps on Cub pitching, winning a laughter, 17-1. Both Sox and Cub fans were happy at the end of the game: Sox fans for winning the game, and Cub fans, because their lone run came off a Sosa home run in the top of the first. The Cub fans finally got a clue that losing is not cute when the Sox fans on the concourse and in the parking lot were unmercifully taunting them.

At the hospital, Sosa was immediately taken to intensive care. Because the arm was far from being able to be repaired, Sosa needed an arm transplant. Unfortunately, the hospital had a little mix-up, as they attached the arm that was supposed to go to a 10-year-old onto Sosa’s shoulder.

After weeks of being on the DL, it was time for Sosa to show what he had in a game situation. With a runner on second and one out, Barry Bonds sent a towering fly ball deep into right field, but not deep enough to leave the ballpark. After Sosa caught the ball, the runner on second tagged to go to third. What happened next puzzled fans around Wrigley Field. Sosa meant to throw a relay into second; however, the ball only traveled 20 feet. To make matters even worse, whenever Sosa came up to bat, he could not hit the ball past pitcher’s mound. Both misfortunes became trends, and Don Baylor decided it was time for Sosa to be sent to the minors.

When Sosa made his debut for the Iowa Cubs, the same troubles circled the man in right field. He just could never get his game back. After an embarrassing few months of baseball, Sosa left Major League Baseball for his homeland of the Dominican Republic—for good!

And you all can blame one dog for all of this!

NUCatsFan
05-07-2002, 04:09 PM
Originally posted by chisoxfanatic
And you all can blame one dog for all of this!

Cute. But probably would have ended it like this:

The dog, who goes by the name <whatever>, is doing well in his recovery. After battling a bout of indegestion that lasted a week, he was able to play a spirited game of catch and is hoping to be able to chase a frisbee by the end of the month.

DVG
05-07-2002, 10:38 PM
:moron

That's a horrible story!!! To suggest that my Sammy would lose it
like that!!! Blasphemer!!! Oh, that home run in the top of the
first, what number would that be in the countdown towards Hank
Aaron?