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DumpJerry
05-22-2008, 01:13 PM
Previous incarnations:
IX (http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=85847)
VIII (http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=77206)
VII (http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=71871)
VI (http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=68600)
V (http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=65211)
IV (http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=60696)
III (http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=58305)
II (http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=55603)
I (http://www.whitesoxinteractive.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=53594)

RedHeadPaleHoser
05-22-2008, 01:28 PM
SOMBER WSI

Lazy Internet Creature Website takes 13 Months to Complete Website Thread - Are Sox Fans Too Dumb To Use Computers?

Our Online Cub Fans Investigate - Check # 1 Fan Driven Website for Cubs! www.chicagosports.com/tribuneownsthewholeuniverseandwedontcarewhoknowsit solongasthesaleoftheCubsmakesusstock$$.com (http://www.chicagosports.com/tribuneownsthewholeuniverseandwedontcarewhoknowsit solongasthesaleoftheCubsmakesusstock$$.com)

VeeckAsInWreck
05-22-2008, 01:34 PM
Cubbies Let Astros Win To Make Division Race Interesting.


White Sox Reap Benefit Of Playing In Weak AL Central

TommyJohn
05-22-2008, 06:54 PM
Sox fan bitterness now in Xth edition

TommyJohn
05-22-2008, 07:48 PM
Kudos must go out to Dr Crawdad, the creative genius who spawned this
thread way back in July of 2005. The Sox' World Championship season is
now but a memory (that we all hope to repeat in the near future) but the
Tomorrow's Headline thread goes on and on. Like all works of creative
genius, it may just last forever.

By the way, I have always thought that the best headlines from this thread
could be culled into a book on the order of "Our Dumb Century" by the Onion.
Lord knows, there are enough headlines from which to choose; you could
put particular emphasis on 2005-06, the championship and title defense
seasons. Just a thought. Might not sell well, but it would be hugely
entertaining. Some of the stuff on here has been laugh out loud funny.

RedHeadPaleHoser
05-23-2008, 06:42 AM
Kudos must go out to Dr Crawdad, the creative genius who spawned this
thread way back in July of 2005. The Sox' World Championship season is
now but a memory (that we all hope to repeat in the near future) but the
Tomorrow's Headline thread goes on and on. Like all works of creative
genius, it may just last forever.

By the way, I have always thought that the best headlines from this thread
could be culled into a book on the order of "Our Dumb Century" by the Onion.
Lord knows, there are enough headlines from which to choose; you could
put particular emphasis on 2005-06, the championship and title defense
seasons. Just a thought. Might not sell well, but it would be hugely
entertaining. Some of the stuff on here has been laugh out loud funny.
To be honest - I thought the same thing. I say, cull the headlines, sort them by poster/date, and publish the book. I know I'd buy it....and not just because I've been a contributor.

RedHeadPaleHoser
05-23-2008, 06:54 AM
ICI-CELL

Sluggish Sox Force Less Than 40,000 but more than 15,000 Fans Into Frozen Ballpark For Meaningless Game that the Sox won but Cleveland Lost

Does Reinsdorf Even Care About what we believe to be a Dwindling Fan Base?

Cub Fan Reaction -

"I can't believe they would force all those homeless people into that park. It's never cold at Wrigley Field - it's always gumdrops, rainbows, birds singing, and we have those goregous hunks Mark Grace and Ryne Sandberg." Gail, Lakeview
"This is Guillen's ****ing idea. Only that ****ing *******, who hates women and blow up dolls, would play in the cold. I bet it's not as ****ing cold in Pilsen, where he came from. He should ****ing go back there so I could worry about the Cubs not playing tonight. *******." Ann, Lincoln Park
"I was, like, on the phone with my girlfriend, who was, like on the silver train thingy going home, and she said she looked and saw people forced to cook their own food in the parking lot. I was like, Jeanie, come on, people down at US Comiskey Stadium should have enough money to buy food when they get to the game. Like this one time, Jeanie and I were drunk at High Tops during a Cub game, because it's just so awesome to be at a Cub game even though we were at the bar, and this guy from DePaul, I think he name was Jimmie or Dylan, said he and his buddies smuggled hot dogs out of Wrigley. It was like, so awesome. Then I held Jeanie's hair cuz she had too many Jaeger bombs." Kari, who lives in Bridgeport but longs for the day she can live in Historic Wrigleyville

Zisk77
05-23-2008, 08:23 AM
Classless sox play A.J. over team batting Leader Hall!

Does the despicable A. J. have incriminating photos of Guillen and Blow-up Dolls? We think so and we'll tell you why. - Sullivan pg. 5

eriqjaffe
05-23-2008, 08:55 AM
Sox offense continues to provide poor support for Buehrle
Is struggling Sox "ace" regretting his no-trade clause? Wild speculation, pg. 13

cheezheadsoxfan
05-23-2008, 09:07 AM
"I was, like, on the phone with my girlfriend, who was, like on the silver train thingy going home, and she said she looked and saw people forced to cook their own food in the parking lot. I was like, Jeanie, come on, people down at US Comiskey Stadium should have enough money to buy food when they get to the game. Like this one time, Jeanie and I were drunk at High Tops during a Cub game, because it's just so awesome to be at a Cub game even though we were at the bar, and this guy from DePaul, I think he name was Jimmie or Dylan, said he and his buddies smuggled hot dogs out of Wrigley. It was like, so awesome. Then I held Jeanie's hair cuz she had too many Jaeger bombs." Kari, who lives in Bridgeport but longs for the day she can live in Historic Wrigleyville

:rolling: US Comiskey Stadium! Priceless!

VeeckAsInWreck
05-23-2008, 10:55 AM
Former Red Sox great honored at White Sox Park.

:rolling:

How about:

Carlton Fisk Survives Visit To Ballpark In Scary Part Of Town.

White Sox Get Lucky For 8th Straight Game

eriqjaffe
05-23-2008, 11:30 AM
Carlton Returns To Sox!
Key member of '86 pitching staff rejoins South Siders

eriqjaffe
05-23-2008, 11:31 AM
The more things change...
Fisk berates Chevy Pride Crew for not running hard enough

SOXPHILE
05-23-2008, 11:38 AM
Not So Gr(8)
-Sox barely win 8th consecutive game before sparse crowd, as city collectively yawns

If this were the Cubs, there would be an electric feeling throughout Chicago, further proving that nobody but a few dozen unemployed trailer trash dwelling low lifes care about the southsiders.


Alerman Tunney begins discussion of Cubs World Series parade routes in city council, brings forth legislation that 2008 be named "YEAR OF THE CUB"

eriqjaffe
05-23-2008, 02:45 PM
Quentin single the difference maker
Will brooding slugger's discomfort with the media make him a Sox pariah like Frank Thomas?

VeeckAsInWreck
05-23-2008, 03:04 PM
Is Sox Slugger Quentin Juicing? See Rosenbloom on page 3

Geovany Soto's Sudden Power Is An Inspiration! Cubs' Backstop Proves That Hard Work In Minors Pays Off.

turners56
05-23-2008, 03:19 PM
Canseco's Shadow
Is Carlos Quentin related to Jose Canseco? (I mean, he looks like him and bats sort of like him...huh HUH?)

Phil Rogers explores into this infamous scandal pages 2-14.

Soxfanspcu11
05-23-2008, 04:10 PM
Sox Win 7 out of 10 on their West Coast Trip. But don't get too excited Sox fans, 2 of the 3 teams they played are in last place and the 3rd team had half of it's players on the DL!

Cubs on Fire! Win 8 out of 10 games at home! Even though the only good team was the Arizona Diamondbacks, the other teams are STACKED with Young Talent! Teams Records indicate that they suck incredibly.

Is this a joke??? NOPE!!

This was pretty much EXACTLY what was said on AM1000 a few days ago. :scratch::?::rolleyes:

thomas35forever
05-23-2008, 04:21 PM
Tribune calls Sox Park attendance during last few games into question

Morrissey: What's this about 38K and 28K fans at that dump the last few nights? At least a third of those fans had to have been pulled off the streets.

Downey: How many even went to watch the game? It's obvious most of them were drunken bastards who picked fights with each other and stadium personnel.

Rogers: It's still in a dangerous neighborhood and too sterile to compare to the charm that is Wrigley Field.

whitesox901
05-23-2008, 11:32 PM
ANGELS DAMN SOX!

GREAT CUBS WIN BY GREAT CUBS TEAM, CUBS ARE JUST SO GREAT.

Cubs Shell Young Talented Pirates Starter. Probebly let Cubs win to be part of Great Cubs 2008 World Series History.




i know its lame, but its all i got

Railsplitter
05-24-2008, 07:40 AM
I know it's scientifically impossible but:

:threadsucks:

:threadblows:

The Trib does not do headlines like these. There's nothing worse than "humor" based on fallicies.

TommyJohn
05-24-2008, 08:22 AM
I know it's scientifically impossible but:

:threadsucks:

:threadblows:

The Trib does not do headlines like these. There's nothing worse than "humor" based on fallicies.

Well then, let's just shut it down and put our tails between our legs and
slink our way home.

Hitmen77
05-24-2008, 10:21 AM
10th Edition Breathes New Life Into Trib-Mocking Thread on Anti-Cub Site
- After weeks of little activity, Sox fans spew venom with renewed vigor.
- Sox fans try to hide shame of playing in MLB's weakest division, desperately turn anger on beloved Cubs and Tribune.

Trouble in Paradise?
Longtime WSI member Railsplitter says thread sucks and blows.
- Is this the beginning of the end of venerable thread?
- How will Sox fans take out their anger without this outlet? Will this lead to a spike in crime in trailer-home neighborhoods?

eriqjaffe
05-24-2008, 03:55 PM
Quentin unable to carry Sox to 9th straight win
A look back at other Williams' other trade fiascos, pg. 4

thomas35forever
05-25-2008, 04:19 PM
Soriano clubs 11th homer before dropping final out in game that Cubs lost in extras

Is Fonsie the biggest slugger in Chicago right now? Tribune polls random fans

"Of course. Who cares what else he does? Chicks like me dig the long ball, so that's enough for me!" - Suzanne, Evanston

"Who is this Quentin guy on the South Side? Fonsie's been here longer, so that should be more relevant." - Jeremy, Lakeview

"Sammy and Sorie are the hottest Domincan sluggers I've ever seen! I love how we've been blessed with these gods of men. Yeah Cubs! Woo!" - Jessica, Rogers Park

eriqjaffe
05-25-2008, 10:24 PM
Quentin's walk-off ends Sox skid
A look back at other Williams' other trade fiascos, pg. 4

GoSox2K3
05-25-2008, 11:38 PM
I know it's scientifically impossible but:

:



The Trib does not do headlines like these. There's nothing worse than "humor" based on fallicies.

Lighten up. I see nothing wrong with Onion-esque headlines. Some are absurd and some actually hit pretty close to the mark. All in all, they're just good for a few chuckles. If you don't like them, don't read this thread.

1908<2005
05-27-2008, 12:10 PM
CUBS DODGE THE DODGERS AND MOVE INTO A .5 GAME LEAD IN THE NL CENTRAL
-Chicago throws a parade for the first place Cubs

Sox/Indians game result was not available at press time

VeeckAsInWreck
05-27-2008, 12:37 PM
First Place Cubs Beat Dodgers 3-1.
Strong Outing for Dempster. See CUBS on pages 1-7.

White Sox Still In First Place.....For Now.
Sox Get Lucky Break In 12th Inning for Win. See SOX paragraph on bottom of page 8.

tebman
05-27-2008, 12:38 PM
The Trib does not do headlines like these. There's nothing worse than "humor" based on fallicies.

You know, I missed hearing from George Knue...



.

WhiteSox5187
05-27-2008, 12:57 PM
Quentin's walk-off ends Sox skid
A look back at other Williams' other trade fiascos, pg. 4
That one made me laugh.

eriqjaffe
05-27-2008, 02:01 PM
That one made me laugh.Thanks. I'm tempted to end every single headline I do with that "trade fiascos" line.

FielderJones
05-27-2008, 02:43 PM
Fan Solo
Cheer at Cellular Field for your team.
(Color correction (http://redeye.chicagotribune.com/media/thumbnails/blurb/2008-05/39278639-26204857.jpg) did not make final edition.)

Sadly, this one is real (http://redeye.chicagotribune.com/).

Now, what was Railsplitter saying about Cubune headlines ...

VeeckAsInWreck
05-27-2008, 02:49 PM
Fan Solo
Cheer at Cellular Field for your team.
(Color correction (http://redeye.chicagotribune.com/media/thumbnails/blurb/2008-05/39278639-26204857.jpg) did not make final edition.)

Sadly, this one is real (http://redeye.chicagotribune.com/).

Now, what was Railsplitter saying about Cubune headlines ...


That's awesome that they used a recent photo, after all the seats in the park are still blue!

jackbrohamer
05-27-2008, 04:00 PM
MARK GONZALEZ' WHITE SOX MAILBAG: Cubs To World Series?*

*The first "Sox-related" "question" states that the AL Central sucks and that the Cubs have the talent to stay in first place. Gonzalez responds cryptically that he'd "worry more about safety" than ticket prices for a Sox-Cubs World Series.

SoxGirl4Life
05-27-2008, 04:04 PM
MARK GONZALEZ' WHITE SOX MAILBAG: Cubs To World Series?*

*The first "Sox-related" "question" states that the AL Central sucks and that the Cubs have the talent to stay in first place. Gonzalez responds cryptically that he'd "worry more about safety" than ticket prices for a Sox-Cubs World Series.


I saw that. Shame he makes these questions up, isn't it?

bryPt
05-27-2008, 05:04 PM
Fan Solo
Cheer at Cellular Field for your team.
(Color correction (http://redeye.chicagotribune.com/media/thumbnails/blurb/2008-05/39278639-26204857.jpg) did not make final edition.)

Sadly, this one is real (http://redeye.chicagotribune.com/).

Now, what was Railsplitter saying about Cubune headlines ...


***?

turners56
05-30-2008, 04:26 PM
Cubs Best Team in Baseball with the help of the White Sox .White Sox Defeat Anemic AL East Leading Rays!

Are the Cubs the best team in baseball? Paul Sullivan certainly thinks so!

Are the Sox the worst 30 win team in the MLB? Phil Rogers analyzes the South Siders' extremely easy wins in an anemic AL Central.

Shoeless
05-31-2008, 09:52 AM
Even Sox, Guillen love the Cubbies!
Inside: Why Aramis is Chicago's Ramirez

whitesox901
06-02-2008, 02:10 PM
Sox Lose Series To usually Last Place Rays!

Cuck the Fubs
06-02-2008, 03:11 PM
Best Team in baseball parade today!

Followed by championship rally in Grant Park.

Plans to unveil Best Team in Baseball through June 2nd banner in works for next amazing Cubbie homestand!!!!!

VeeckAsInWreck
06-02-2008, 03:18 PM
Cubs Sweep Defending NL Champs! See VICTORY PARADE on Page 2

White Sox Get Pwned By Rays: See WHO CARES on Page 8

JohnTucker0814
06-02-2008, 04:24 PM
Walker fired, scapegoat for anemic Sox offense!

Hitmen77
06-04-2008, 08:35 AM
Cubs in 1st! Cubs in 1st! Forget the Calendar, It's Time to Celebrate! The Cubbies are Chicago's 1st Place Team!
- Cubs fever sweeps Chicago. Everyone weeps tears of joy over cute, lovable Cubbies.
- Special Cubs playoff push coverage (pg 2-11)


Sox supposedly 1st place ahead of a bunch of bad teams, but it doesn't mean anything (pg. 12)

Bucky F. Dent
06-04-2008, 09:02 AM
CUBS POUND NINE RUNS OUT OF PADRES!

Sox Anemic Offense Squeaks By Royals By Four.

jackbrohamer
06-04-2008, 09:40 AM
IS SOX WIN REAL? Royals Losers In 13 Of Last 15 Games*

* Slight exaggeration of van Dyck's article today. He eventually gets around to pointing out that Greinke had one of the league's best ERAs.

whitesox901
06-04-2008, 12:38 PM
CUBS FRY FRIARS!
CUBS BEAT TEAM WITH back in the day AWSOME PITCHING!

SOX BEAT LAST PLACE ROYALS!

VeeckAsInWreck
06-04-2008, 12:43 PM
Who's Your Padre? 1st Place Cubs Win Big Over Padres

Washed Up Team To Get Washed Up Pitcher? Sox Reportedly On Verge Of Signing Esteban Loaiza

turners56
06-04-2008, 01:04 PM
Cubs Move Brilliant Win Streak to 9!
This certainly means that they are better than the White Sox because the longest winning streak the Sox have had to this point is 8. Hah! This definitely means the Cubs will sweep the Sox when we play those trash siders.

thomas35forever
06-04-2008, 08:19 PM
Sox sign Loaiza
Washed up pitcher dropped off after '03 while also on Sox. Steroids? Phil Rogers investigates. Pgs. 1-20

GoSox2K3
06-05-2008, 07:56 AM
Jenks Blows Save, Sox probably Lose (*late game, headline published before game ended)
Is Sox pen set to repeat '07 meltdown?

Huge baserunning blunders by Ramirez, Anderson likely cost Sox the game.
Why does everyone on the Sox suck so much? (p 4-9)

eriqjaffe
06-05-2008, 08:45 AM
Thome hits 464-foot home run
Is this the result of rampant south side steroid abuse? See pgs. 4-23.

VeeckAsInWreck
06-05-2008, 09:25 AM
Cubs Allow Padres To Avoid Embarrassment Of Sweep. Lou Piniella Should Be Commended For Showing Mercy
http://www.pe.com/imagesdaily/2008/04-03/astros_padres_baseball_3_400.jpg


White Sox Probably Lost To The Royals, Anyone Watch It? Due To Late Final We Don't Have The Score, But Who Cares Right?
http://chicagopictures.net/images/sports_sox_108.jpg

lpneck
06-05-2008, 12:30 PM
Thome, Konerko homer while fighting for jobs
-Platoon coming? Ozzie demands lineup changes, GM Williams responds by signing .333 hitting Loaiza as potential DH replacement vs. lefties.

Safe at first
-Royals first base coach remains unattacked for second straight night.

doublem23
06-05-2008, 12:41 PM
Safe at first
-Royals first base coach remains unattacked for second straight night.

:rolling:

turners56
06-05-2008, 01:10 PM
Thome, Konerko homer while fighting for jobs
-Platoon coming? Ozzie demands lineup changes, GM Williams responds by signing .333 hitting Loaiza as potential DH replacement vs. lefties.

Safe at first
-Royals first base coach remains unattacked for second straight night.

:rolling::rolling::rolling:

KenBerryGrab
06-05-2008, 01:12 PM
U.S. Cellular Field Goes to the Dogs
And it's not just the ballplayers this time

Cub brass laughs at annual publicity stunt
'The only urine you'll smell at our shrine is human'

EMachine10
06-05-2008, 04:04 PM
Cubs select Cashner in draft: The best bullpen in Chicago?
Also: Sox select shortstop with too much hair.

turners56
06-05-2008, 04:11 PM
Rocking Out Too Much?
White Sox first round pick seen rocking out with friends rather than working out in Youtube video. Is Beckham another weak-hitting Nick Swisher? Paul Sullivan investigates.

eriqjaffe
06-05-2008, 04:53 PM
Sox get Beckham
Contract status with Galaxy still TBD

White City
06-05-2008, 04:59 PM
Cabrera Now Southside's No. 5 Shortstop
Helmet-haired Georgia kid joins Ramirez, Uribe, Guillen and Ozuna in being better shortstops than Orlando Cabrera

Sox It To Em
06-05-2008, 05:10 PM
Safe at first
-Royals first base coach remains unattacked for second straight night.

Win.

Zisk77
06-05-2008, 05:25 PM
Knife salesmen gets axed -Wasserman doesn't make the cut.

Classless Sox turn on themselves. Olivo, Guillen beaned by Dotel.

turners56
06-05-2008, 05:30 PM
Sox get Beckham
Contract status with Galaxy still TBD


If the Sox really did get David Beckham and had him sit in the dugout, the Cell might be packed every night with Europeans.

lpneck
06-06-2008, 12:11 AM
Every dog has its day
-Sox fans prove to be animals once again against Kansas City.

RedHeadPaleHoser
06-06-2008, 08:39 AM
DOG DAYS AT CELL

Sox Booster Failing Attendance By Allowing Dogs Into Park; Tribune to Call PETA to Investigate

Boston Red SOX FAN ON FIELD AGAIN

Do the SOX, YES SOX, fans ever sit in their seats?

cws05champ
06-06-2008, 09:10 AM
More Dog Days coming?
> Golden Retreiver to platoon 1B duties with Konerko, has a better Avg and can really pick it at 1st.

Zisk77
06-06-2008, 09:57 AM
Somber Swat: Sox brass too depressed to set of fireworks after Thome's Shot.

tstrike2000
06-06-2008, 11:01 AM
It's a Dog Eat Dog World!

Sox use "Dog Day" at U.S. Cellular Field in pathetic attempt to mock Cub fan pride of urinating all over the ballpark!

Story on Page 5 with proper urinating techniques on pages 10-30.

60 Cent
06-06-2008, 06:37 PM
Twins ready to end White Sox' misery.

Nothing can stop the Cubs.

Does Jerry Reinsdorf knows what he is doing? He blew it on Gasol, KG, and Kobe. He can't find a coach as Doug Collins and Mike D'Antoni was deemed too expensive. Just who will coach the Bulls?

Did Paul Pierce faked an injury?

Red Wings celebrate their fourth cup in 11 seasons

FireMariotti
06-07-2008, 12:22 AM
Twins ready to end White Sox' misery.

Nothing can stop the Cubs.

Does Jerry Reinsdorf knows what he is doing? He blew it on Gasol, KG, and Kobe. He can't find a coach as Doug Collins and Mike D'Antoni was deemed too expensive. Just who will coach the Bulls?

Did Paul Pierce faked an injury?

Red Wings celebrate their fourth cup in 11 seasons

Ha, Timberwolf didn't do half bad with this.
Sadly, he's being serious here and doesn't understand the joke.

Viva Medias B's
06-07-2008, 12:54 AM
Sox Literally Nearly Kill Hundreds
Fireworks in Left Center Narrowly Miss Commercial Aircraft in Right Center after Dye HR

gobears1987
06-07-2008, 01:26 AM
Wind Saves Walker's Job
Seriously, this team sucks and can't score 10 runs unless the wind helps them.

Are the White Sox manipulating weather and causing the wind to change directions when they come up to bat??? We investigate.

lpneck
06-07-2008, 11:27 AM
South side nepotism
-Sox overreach in drafting son of GM Williams, brother of pitcher Danks.

Cubs get 36th round steal
-Hendry lands late round gem in UNLV catcher Michael Brenley.

turners56
06-07-2008, 11:31 AM
Wrigley Winds in Prison?
We explain why the homers at Wrigley Field aren't coming as often, it seems like the South Siders have trapped the wind in their own stadium. The Cubs weren't even playing at home, but we have nothing to write as they got shut out, so this is all we could think of.

thomas35forever
06-07-2008, 04:53 PM
Tribune cancels Mary Hardy's subscription
Editor's Note: We at the Tribune Company were highly insulted by Ms. Hardy's accusation that we favor the White Sox over the Cubs on the front of our sports section. Everyone knows that we own the Cubs and must promote and hype them up by any means necessary. Therefore, we felt it was in the best interest of the company and Ms. Hardy that she no longer receive our paper on a regular basis. Let this be a lesson to all that one should NEVER question our pro-Cubbie and anti-Sox sports coverage.

turners56
06-07-2008, 04:54 PM
Tribune cancels Mary Hardy's subscription
Editor's Note: We at the Tribune Company were highly insulted by Ms. Hardy's accusation that we favor the White Sox over the Cubs on the front of our sports section. Everyone knows that we own the Cubs and must promote and hype them up by any means necessary. Therefore, we felt it was in the best interest of the company and Ms. Hardy that she no longer receive our paper on a regular basis. Let this be a lesson to all that one should NEVER question our pro-Cubbie and anti-Sox sports coverage.

I was just about to write that >_<.

thomas35forever
06-07-2008, 04:54 PM
I was just about to write that >_<.
I wrote it first, so if you were going to write that word for word, I should sue you.:tongue:

Shoeless
06-07-2008, 08:55 PM
21 + 2 games = Steroids
the stuff that got Walker back on Guillen's good side

turners56
06-07-2008, 09:04 PM
Wristless Joe Crede?
White Sox 3rd baseman has 4 homers in 2 games after a serious wrist injury. Did White Sox trainers give him PEDs? Steve Rosenbloom investigates.

PeteWard
06-07-2008, 09:52 PM
Big Z stays "cool" in fluke loss.

tstrike2000
06-07-2008, 10:46 PM
Twin Killing?

Did Twins give up 11 runs and drop second straight game on a bribe?

MLB to investigate Alexei Ramirez keeping his girl like figure by offering his Cuban Beef Empanadas to fellow countryman Livan Hernandez in exchange for batting practice pitches during the game.

eriqjaffe
06-07-2008, 11:06 PM
Sox use up June allotment of runs
Pitchers doomed to 2-0 losses for remainder of month

soxwon
06-07-2008, 11:07 PM
CUBS LOSE TO MIGHTY DODGERS!!!
(STILL BEST TEAM IN BASEBALL)
SOX BEAT COLD TWINS!!!
TWINS HAVE LOST 2 IN A ROW
HOW GOOD COULD THEY BE?

Mendoza Line
06-07-2008, 11:16 PM
Zambrano Foils Gatorade Plot!
Zambrano Overcomes Threat from Two Massive Gatorade Barrels. Milestone for Cubs!

First Cub to ever defeat TWO Gatorade Barrels!

Sox Play Through Dangerous Weather Threat! Risk Lives of Fans.
Why reckless game could have cost THOUSANDS of lives!!!

btrain929
06-07-2008, 11:17 PM
White Sox Win the Battle, But Are Losing the War.

2nd straight win vs one of the worst 2nd place teams in the league gives the White Sox 18 wins at home, but still find themselves an embarrasing 6 wins behind Cubs' home win total on the year. Solutions for the Sox on how to pick up their level of play at the scary Comisky Park on Page 60.

SoxGirl4Life
06-08-2008, 01:17 AM
Trib actually did mention the Cubs in the first line of the Sox story. Something like...

"They may have the worst winning percentage of any division leader in baseball, but they have a bigger lead than the the team with the best, the Cubs".

:rolleyes:

Scottiehaswheels
06-08-2008, 01:46 AM
Trib actually did mention the Cubs in the first line of the Sox story. Something like...

"They may have the worst winning percentage of any division leader in baseball, but they have a bigger lead than the the team with the best, the Cubs".

:rolleyes:I would hope that is an old quote because it's not even true. AZ is, even after their amazing start.

SoxGirl4Life
06-08-2008, 05:48 AM
I would hope that is an old quote because it's not even true. AZ is, even after their amazing start.


Fresh off their Sunday edition:

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/cs-080607-chicago-white-sox-minnesota-twins,0,7915351.story

hose
06-08-2008, 07:47 AM
Sox bullpen gives up 9th inning run again marking the 4th game in a row the bullpen has imploded in the ninth.

turners56
06-08-2008, 11:35 AM
Zambrano Foils Gatorade Plot!
Zambrano Overcomes Threat from Two Massive Gatorade Barrels. Milestone for Cubs!

First Cub to ever defeat TWO Gatorade Barrels!



Big Z beat his own record on that one.

rocky biddle
06-08-2008, 12:07 PM
Fresh off their Sunday edition:

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/cs-080607-chicago-white-sox-minnesota-twins,0,7915351.story

I usually don't go for the Trib bias stuff, but that's just downright pathetic.

Van Dyck should be ****ing ashamed of himself.

Hitmen77
06-08-2008, 05:52 PM
I would hope that is an old quote because it's not even true. AZ is, even after their amazing start.

Why let something like the facts get in the way of a chance to mention the Cubs at the beginning of their Sox article.

Hitmen77
06-08-2008, 06:00 PM
Cubs Making '08 An Exciting Baseball Season in Chicago! (pg 1-3)
- Lovable North Siders catching everyone's hearts as they look to add to their lead against Cards, Astros, Brewers.
- Cubs lead NL Central rivals: Baseball excitement at its finest.


Sox in 1st Because Rest of Division is Bad (Page 4)
- Twins, Tribe, Tigers aren't very good this year. So, the Sox lead doesn't matter and nobody cares.
- Vote: Should Selig give the Sox an asterisk for being in 1st against such weak opponents?

chisoxfanatic
06-08-2008, 06:09 PM
Murder on 35th St.
Sox pound the Twins into submission
Cubs would be much more forgiving on their opponent

turners56
06-08-2008, 08:19 PM
http://d.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20080608/capt.9ba0f95148cb40b48c92ce601a42eaec.twins_white_ sox_baseball_cxs109.jpg
Mercy!
Even Ken "The Hawk" Harrelson is offended by the White Sox latest display of merciless scoring against their fragile division rival Twins.

More pictures of demoralized Twins on pages 15-28.

lpneck
06-09-2008, 07:42 AM
Sox end 76 year offensive drought
-Pound out 15 hits in 3 consecutive games for first time in nearly 8 decades.
-Hit parade ends unrivaled measure of futility in Chicago baseball history.

An argument for realignment
-American League Central an embarrassment, 4 teams under .500.

Cubs rack up impressive win over 2nd place Dodgers

TommyJohn
06-09-2008, 08:48 AM
Sox get 15 hits three games in a row for first time since 1932

Vanderberg: In 1932 the Sox got 15 hits in three straight games, and went 49-102!!! NOOOOOO!!!! Goodbye, cruel world!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

The last time this happened, the Cubs went to the World Series. Will history repeat itself?

Harry Potter
06-09-2008, 06:49 PM
White Sox imitate Cubs
Southsiders finish off 7-0 homestand two weeks after Northsiders accomplished feat first

Hitmen77
06-09-2008, 10:18 PM
Sox get 15 hits three games in a row for first time since 1932

Vanderberg: In 1932 the Sox got 15 hits in three straight games, and went 49-102!!! NOOOOOO!!!! Goodbye, cruel world!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

The last time this happened, the Cubs went to the World Series. Will history repeat itself?

Good one.

It's Time
06-09-2008, 10:22 PM
Cubs Making '08 An Exciting Baseball Season in Chicago! (pg 1-3)
- Lovable North Siders catching everyone's hearts as they look to add to their lead against Cards, Astros, Brewers.
- Cubs lead NL Central rivals: Baseball excitement at its finest.


Sox in 1st Because Rest of Division is Bad (Page 4)
- Twins, Tribe, Tigers aren't very good this year. So, the Sox lead doesn't matter and nobody cares.
- Vote: Should Selig give the Sox an asterisk for being in 1st against such weak opponents?

LMAO!! This is gold.

Rolling Rock
06-10-2008, 12:21 AM
Cubs "Winners" Even on Their Day Off

Soriano helps elderly woman cross street (click here for exclusive video); Zambrano visits patients in psych ward


Sox bats struggle in Twins' finale; offense fails to control game until 7th inning
Hit production drops off dramatically against sub-.500 team; another Ozzie tirade expected

thomas35forever
06-10-2008, 12:41 AM
Cubs "Winners" Even on Their Day Off

Soriano helps elderly woman cross street (click here for exclusive video); Zambrano visits patients in psych ward


Sox bats struggle in Twins' finale; offense fails to control game until 7th inning
Hit production drops off dramatically against sub-.500 team; another Ozzie tirade expected

:welcome:

ChiSoxFan7
06-10-2008, 12:52 AM
All-Star Race heats up on the Northside. Derosa, Derek Lee, Ramirez, Soto, Soriano, and Fukodome predicted winners. (Full Page posters of each inside!)

Southsiders expected to again play dirty politics and elect Carlos Quentin through a flawed system! (Full Size Whitesox Timeline of dirty politicking A5-34.

RedHeadPaleHoser
06-10-2008, 07:39 AM
SAFE IN THE CITY

Best Record In Baseball Cubs Host Strugging Braves At The World's Most Gloriest, Friendliest, Cleanest, Safest BallPark - Wrigley Field!!!!!!!

Cub Fans ARE Hotter than Another Team's Fans - Just Ask the Other Newspaper!!!

Have We Mentioned the Cubs Are For Sale? Who Wouldn't Want to Own Such A Piece of History?

Scary Sox Head To Detroit - Is Devil's Night now Scheduled for June? We Investigate Why the first place in a Bad division White Sox bring Black Jerseys with them on the road....pg 5.

cws05champ
06-10-2008, 08:18 AM
Sox Streak Subdued by Another Clubhouse Scandel
> Is Homosexuality running rampant in the Sox Clubhouse?
- Swisher: "I'm wearing Toby Hall's pants"

Cubs Best Record in Baseball
> Every day we will look back at each year of Cubs baseball since 1908 to celebrate the Cubs. (not a joke...for real)

turners56
06-10-2008, 12:12 PM
Giambino? Swisherino?
First thongs, now pants? What has this world come to? Our special female guest from that other paper in town fills us in with her extreme feminist views.

SoxGirl4Life
06-10-2008, 12:23 PM
Cubs Best Record in Baseball
> Every day we will look back at each year of Cubs baseball since 1908 to celebrate the Cubs. (not a joke...for real)


I saw this. Each day, for the next 100 days of the baseball season, they're going to chronicle a year since the Cubs last won it all.

I figure they'll do it for the Sox too, but they have to start it on the last weekend of the season :lol: That put it in perspective for me.

rocky biddle
06-11-2008, 07:02 AM
Wrigley Not Crumbling
Materials distributed to prospective buyers makes no mention of needed repairs, which means landmark building in great shape.

Does This Historic Cubs Season Have Magical Structure-Healing Abilities? - see Sullivan, p. 1-5

Beautiful Wrigley Field Through the Years - p. 6-40

Hitmen77
06-11-2008, 09:14 AM
Wrigley Not Crumbling Materials distributed to prospective buyers makes no mention of needed repairs, which means landmark building in great shape.

Does This Historic Cubs Season Have Magical Structure-Healing Abilities? - see Sullivan, p. 1-5

Beautiful Wrigley Field Through the Years - p. 6-40

I thought this was just another fictitious funny joke headline. Then I go to the the Trib's website and see that the stuff in blue is really there as their top story.

Incredible.

VeeckAsInWreck
06-11-2008, 09:35 AM
Cubs Continue To Amaze Over Once Dominant Atlanta Braves! This Is The Year Folks!


Isn't It A Pity Sox Lose In Motor City: Another Ozzie Tirade Imminent?

SOXPHILE
06-12-2008, 10:12 AM
The Assasination of Alfonso Soriano's Wrist By the Coward Jeff Bennett
A complete expose'

-Scummy Braves pitcher always had a thing for dirty players - "Ulf Samuelsen,Charles Martin, Andre Waters, Isiah Thomas & Bill Lambier, I've always loved those kind of guys and looked up them. I always loved the White Sox too. They really know to to 'get it done', if you know what I mean" said Bennet, in an old, unconfirmed interview dug by by Tribune sources.

-Is shady, bush league Braves pitcher related to the Ligues ? Dan McGrath investigates, and re-visits the infamous 2002 incident at U.S. Insullar Field with a minute by minute breakdown, and it's effects on the entire world of sports

-Crane Kenney and Ann Marie Lipinski demand that City Hall put out purple bunting and all flags city wide be lowered to half staff until saintly Cubs slugger returns to line up. "I'm Ann Marie Lipinski, goddamnit ! Don't you know who I am !!?? You do whatever the hell I say, or I'll destroy you !!" Ms. Lipinksi opined to a Tribune staffer when asked to comment on latest tragedy and curse to befall America's team.

turners56
06-12-2008, 10:23 AM
Was Jerry Reinsdorf Behind Soriano's Broken Wrist?
Jay Marioti explores on pages 2-12.

ondafarm
06-12-2008, 10:30 AM
White Sox losing streak continues!!!

VeeckAsInWreck
06-12-2008, 10:55 AM
Sox Can't Win No Mo' In Motown: Team Full Of Hitters With Healthy Wrists Can't Tame Lowly Tigers.

http://cache.eb.com/eb/image?id=91279&rendTypeId=4
White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen contemplates upcoming tirade.



Detroit - After winning seven consecutive games in homer-friendly U.S. Cellular field the White Sox have been playing like the over achieving team of scum bags we thought they were. At the moment there have been no blow up dolls or blow ups from Ozzie but it's only a matter of time before this bunch of millionaire perverts is up to something controversial. You can be assured that this news outlet and the Sun-Times will be there to cover and report it for you.

eriqjaffe
06-12-2008, 11:10 AM
Are rest of Sox wearing Swisher's pants?
Inability to swagger due to chafing may be behind the Sox struggling offense

RedHeadPaleHoser
06-12-2008, 11:44 AM
DETROIT SOX SUCK CITY

Chances for Postseason Dim As Struggling SOX LOSE AGAIN to lowly Tigers

Did Hawk say "Eat a Game?" Is that the new Coaching Philosphy at US Insular Field? We examine overeating and the homeless at Sox Park, pg 5

SORE-IAN-NOOOOOOO!! (We love Ron Santo!!)

CUB SUPERSTAR was not INTENTIONALLY HIT BY a pitcher who owns WHITE SOX and is a FAN of ATLANTA BRAVES PITCHER

TommyJohn
06-12-2008, 07:57 PM
How's this for a headline?

There's trouble afoot

That was the headline after the first game of the Tiger series. Trouble afoot?
Are you kidding me? But no, there's no bias, and we fans are whacko to even
think such a thing.

turners56
06-12-2008, 08:39 PM
"Cubs Win! Cubs Win! Cubs Win!"
Who the hell is this Len Kasper guy? He sure isn't Harry Karay...

Harry's wonderful moments pages 25-75.

thomas35forever
06-12-2008, 09:29 PM
Sox release Loaiza
Is former 21-game winner linked to steroids? Is that why he lasted less than a week with the Sox? Tribune investigates.

RedHeadPaleHoser
06-13-2008, 07:33 AM
WHITE FLAG II??

STRUGGLING, STUMBLING but not OUT OF FIRST PLACE SOX to Release Loaiza; Beginning of End for 2008 Season?

Overheard in Sox Clubhouse -"Time to pack it up guys."(said by clubhouse manager to team as bus was waiting to take them to airport for flight home)

HOW SWEEP IT IS!!!

Ghost of Jack Brickhouse Blesses Home Run Call by Granting HBP in 11th - we saw it happen!!!!

VeeckAsInWreck
06-13-2008, 09:53 AM
Sox Sinking Ship Hits New Lo(aiza): After Sweep By Lowly Tigers Sox Start Dismantling Their First Place Team.


Cubbies Party Like It's 1948! Everything Rosy At Wrigley!

Special Report By Tom Skilling: "Unusual Isolated Rain Cloud Reported Over 35th and Shields"

Hitmen77
06-13-2008, 10:41 AM
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Sox Show They're Not For Real in Detroit!
Up yours, Sox Fans!!! Pathetic, unpopular South Side team can only beat teams that suck worse than they do. You can put that on the board.....Yesssss!!!!!

Chicagoans Eagerly Awaiting Last 2 Weekends in June When We...er, we mean the Cubs....Look to Sweep the Icky Sox.

Fans Speak Out: How Would a Cubs 6-0 Sweep of Sox Rank as Greatest Moment in Chicago Sports History? Just below Super Bowl XX and Bulls' 6 Titles?
Tribune will be surveying WGN Radio listeners and people in Lakeview today for answers.

whitesox901
06-14-2008, 03:51 AM
Cubs On Godwill Mission to Canada Let Toronto Win!


Sox Treat Old "hero" With Disrespect In Loss To Rockies!
White Sox Add Insult To Injury When They Beat Former Team Mate 's Current Team, Have They No Shame?????

ChiSoxFan7
06-14-2008, 01:02 PM
Cubs Lose
INSIDE: Details on how every cub's loss in the past 100 years can be attributed to outside forces, Bartman, Goats, Umpire's Arms, and MORE! Page A1-55

PROVEN! Sox cheated about 100 years ago and MLB still let's them Play! Investigation inside! B2-12

turners56
06-14-2008, 01:13 PM
Cubs Too Traditional for Artificial Turf
It's been 4 years since the Cubs have had a win on artificial turf. Why? Because the Cubs are too traditional to play on fake grass.

The history of the Cubs on artificial turf pages 2-34

lpneck
06-16-2008, 09:39 AM
Rocky Mountain High
-Free falling Sox embarassed for 2nd straight game by expansion team.
-Baseball traditionalist persecuted for throwing object on playing field; will south side attendance continue to suffer as a result?

Frank Douglas of 236 S. Mason St. causes Astros loss to Yankees.
-Fans encouraged to reached Mr. Douglas at his office phone at 555-4681 to express feelings about loss.

Viva Medias B's
06-17-2008, 11:36 PM
Sox Run Score Up on Poor Pirates

rustysurf83
06-17-2008, 11:44 PM
WHITE SOX FINALLY BEAT PIRATES FOR FIRST TIME THIS SEASON in first game.

CUBS HAVE basically WON 20 GAMES AGAINST WEAK PIRATES ALREADY!!!

thomas35forever
06-18-2008, 12:30 AM
White Sox maul Pirates, even Dewayne Wise getting in on it
Is Wise on steroids? Tribune investigates pgs. 1-8

eriqjaffe
06-18-2008, 08:17 AM
Sox struggles continue
Quentin held hitless, Vazquez gives up 5 runs in 6 innings as Sox edge Pittsburgh

Hitmen77
06-18-2008, 04:35 PM
Brave Pittsburgh Reporter Tells It Like It Is About Wrigley and Cell
Future Trib staffer bucks recent misguided trend of praising Cell, dissing Wrigley

Sullivan: The Truth - Isn't It Refreshing?

Lifelong Sox fan Gorzelanny's opinion of the Cell: "It Stinks!" (pg 2-14, editorial page, business section and pg 2-3 of Metro section)
- Even bitter, Cub-sessed Sox fans hate their own park. How pathetic!
- #1 Sox fan William Ligue reacts to Evergreen Park native's anti-Cell comment.

http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/sports//s_573246.html

RedHeadPaleHoser
06-19-2008, 08:13 AM
ZAMBRAN-NOOOOOOOOOO!! (Actual WGN News Sports Headline)

Cub SuperAce Soon To Be Cy Young Winner Taken Out of Game which they lost but that's not important, Heading to Chicago for MRI

Are Any Rays Players Former White Sox Players? Did They Doctor The Baseball So Our Beloved Carlos Got Injured?

Gatorade Reports 1200% Sales Drop due to BIG Z Not Beating Up Coolers

Cub Score? Um, well.. LOOK! A GIANT SNAIL!!!!

BASEMENT BEATERS

White Sox Continue to Batter Celler Dweller Pirates; Ruin Homecoming for Cub hater who was a Sox Fan Gorzelanny

Is Beating Cellar Dwellers Common In Bridgeport, Where the SOX Play? Ron Santo Investigates, pg 3

eriqjaffe
06-19-2008, 08:30 AM
Sox continue scuffling
Dye, Ramirez held hitless by baffling Bucs

White City
06-19-2008, 08:30 AM
rays Much Improved From When They Were Beating The Sox By One Run At Home

once-tough Pirates Now Folding At Convenient Time For Hapless White Sox

1908<2005
06-19-2008, 12:59 PM
WHITE SOX LOSE!
Our chicagsports.com smartest fans poll

VeeckAsInWreck
06-19-2008, 01:09 PM
Wrigleyville To Be Infested With South Side Trash This Weekend. Local Residents Fear For Their Lives.

1908<2005
06-19-2008, 01:50 PM
Chicago Cubune early edition


WHITE SOX COME ALL THE WAY BACK FROM 6 DOWN TO TIE PITTSBURGH.
-Our sports team flashes back all the way to 3 weeks ago to the Cubs historic comeback vs. Colorado. (Pages 1-20)
-"The Cubs comeback was clearly better" says Paul Sullivan

thomas35forever
06-20-2008, 12:15 AM
Cubs generously allow Rays to sweep them to make Sox fans think their series loss to Tampa was no fluke
Rogers: Why Carlos Marmol should win Man of the Year

Cubs, best team in baseball, set to take on the White Sox, who have the worst record of any first-place team in the junior circuit of MLB

chisoxfanatic
06-20-2008, 12:46 AM
Cubs, best team in baseball, set to take on the White Sox, who have the worst record of any first-place team in the junior circuit of MLB

That is...PRICELESS!!! :tongue:


Cubs Lose in a Preview of This Year's World Series
Sox Actually Allowed Pirates to Enjoy a Lead in a Game This Series
But still ended up with the series sweep

mark2olson
06-20-2008, 01:55 AM
CUBBIES LOSE TO POWERFUL RAYS
Northsiders Continue Demanding Schedule against Traditional AL East Powers
Hendry Lauded for Scheduling Tough Opponents

SOX BULLY WEAK NL CENTRAL OPPONENT
Pierzynski seen Taking Lollipops from Children after Game, Page 2
Did Sox Collude to Schedule Weak Teams? Pages 3 - 8
"An Outrage! The Cubs slog through the toughest schedule in the bigs while the Sox dance through candyland. Reinsdorf and Williams are an Utter Disgrace to the Game," Guest Columnist Jay Mariotti, Back Page

WisSoxFan
06-20-2008, 08:41 AM
Hendry Lauded for Scheduling Tough Opponents
"


Now that is funny.:D:

eriqjaffe
06-20-2008, 10:43 AM
Sox struggles continue
Floyd unable to overcome 2nd-inning error

nkcomp
06-20-2008, 12:02 PM
INNOCENT BOY SERIOUSLY INJURED AT SOX GAME
EDITORIAL: The Family Should Press Charges and Sue - Sec. 1, Pg. 22
Is it Even Worth it To Go to the Cell? - Sports, Pg. 3
"This tragedy could never have happened at Wrigley" says Cubs official - Sports, Pg 1.


(In all seriousness though, I hope the kid is alright.)

RedHeadPaleHoser
06-20-2008, 01:58 PM
SOMBER STUNNED-TIMES

Rival Paper Forced to Continue Hotter Fan Contest Due to No Internet Access on South Side

Cub Fan Reactions To Extended Poll:

"I'm not surprised they had to continue the poll. It's just like when the Cubs are at home - the birds are always singing, the sun is always shining, and golden coins fall from the sky. I can't imagine my favorite current Cubs player, Mark Grace, having to play without getting an awesome tan. When that other team is home, there's always tornado warnings and rain. My invisible friend, Mr. Wonka, told me so." Gail, Lakeview
"Those mother****ers don't no any ****ing thing about being ****ing beautiful. The women are skanky, classless losers. Look at me - I'm a ****ing goddess with a great ass! Those ****bags are useless pieces of ****." Ann, Lincoln Park
"Oh.....My God!!! I was on Myspace last night talking to Jay-Jay, Rico, Ann Marie, Nicki and Philly T, and we were all talking about what a great game the Cubs had played that day, even though it was only the 1st inning, I think, and they were playing a team named Ray? Anyway, Rico told me that the Daily News had this poll about hot fans, and I TOTALLY told him that unless it's the Reader or People magazine, I don't read the paper. He IM'ed me the link, so I went and checked it out....and OH...MY GOD....there was this girl, on there, that looked just like my ex-boyfriend's ex girlfriend Darien. She was SUCH A BITCH!!! Then I saw that her photo was from the Sox park, Comiskey Cellular Park, so I voted that I liked Ryan Theriot. He's on Dancing with The Stars, right?" Kari, who lives in Bridgeport but longs for the day she can live in Historic Wrigleyville

eriqjaffe
06-20-2008, 05:06 PM
Sox struggles continue
We don't even have to make anything up this time

1908<2005
06-20-2008, 05:12 PM
we Win!!!!!!!!!!!