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WSI News - Totally Biased Game Recaps


Sox Punch Out Tigers 14-6

(April 22, 2000)

Hey Chicago, take a look at your new-look Chicago White Sox.† The complacency is gone -- just ask Phil Garner.

Here's a guy who made his life through the 90's instructing lousy pitchers to pitch inside and directing his team to swing fists if not bats.† Playing a laid back club like the Sox, Phil's approach usually worked.† Today at Comiskey it didn't.

Jim Parque spent the first six innings mowing through the Tigers anemic line up.† Meanwhile Detroit starter Jeff Weaver couldn't find his catcher's glove.† That didn't stop him from pitching high and tight, hitting two Sox batters.† In the top-half of the seventh inning, Parque planted his first pitch squarely into the ear hole of Detroit's Dean Palmer.† Unlike any Sox team of the 90's, the message from this one is now clear:† "Don't mess with our hitters."

The benches cleared.† Phil Garner's aged coaching staff threw some of the most meaningful punches.† Some bullpen catching mutant named Robert Fick is captured in full-color slow motion swinging at Bill Simas.† Keith Foulke was surrounded by six Tigers and blind-sided by benchwarmer Karim Garcia, drawing blood.†

The Sox answered this intimidation by scoring six more runs to make the final score a farce.† Paul Konerko hit a three-run shot.† Chris Singleton followed with a solo homer.† This was the most lopsided 14-6 game you will ever see.† A few Tigers hadn't gotten enough, so they started another fight in the ninth inning.† One of them was Dean Palmer, making a return performance to the field after getting ejected in the seventh.† He'll be watching the next few games on television with a lighter wallet.

The Sox go for the sweep Sunday.† We drop the puck (and Phil's boys their gloves, too) at 1:05 pm.

Aren't you glad Phil Garner is back in the American League?† Can't wait for the main event when Detroit visits Toronto.† Garner vs. Bevington, the Sequel.

Back to 2000 Champions!

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