Community  

 
 Message Boards  

 WSI Photo Gallery  

Post of the Week  

 Chat  

 

 

  2013 White Sox  

 Season Schedule  

 

2005 Championship

 

WSI Extras  

 WSI Interviews

  Audio Memories

  2002 Disaster!

2001 Season Fun!

2000 Champions!

Fun & Games

History & Glory

Sox Greats
Sox Quotables
Sox Fight Songs
Old Comiskey Park

     

   
WSI News - Totally Biased Game Recaps

Minnesota Melodrama

September 3rd vs. the Minnesota Twins


Toon Squad Update:
Charlie Brown
The paragon of bad baseball, Charlie Brown's team lost spectacularly. Sort of like the Sox tonight.

Short Take:James Shields and Jacob Turner handed the Twins 11 runs in only three innings as the Sox Lost (with a capital L) 11-3 in Minneapolis.

The bottom of the division apparently is a comfortable place, because the Sox and Twins both seem to like it there. The Sox lost to the bottom-dwelling Minnesotans 11-3 in a pitch-poor melodrama.

Starter James Shields is now 3-and-10 since joining the White Sox. Whatever big-game mojo he had in the past has left without a forwarding address.

The Bridgeport big boys got on the board first, in the first, in the first at-bat. Adam Eaton timed a changeup from Twinkie starter Hector Santiago and sent it into the right-field seats for an early 1-0 lead. All's well, except that Shields was pitching tonight. He gave up a leadoff homer of his own to Brian Dozier to quickly tie the game 1-1. The Sox took the lead back 2-1 in the second, but the ice fishermen raised the bet in the bottom of the second to make it 3-2.

The curtain rose on a comic opera in the third inning, involving 13 hitters. It would take too long to publish the whole libretto, so we'll just provide the stage directions:

  • Enter James Shields, stage left.
  • Trevor Plouffe base on balls.
  • Max Kepler pops out. One out.
  • Miguel Sano homers. Plouffe and Sano run downstage to score. 5-2 Twins.
  • Eddie Rosario base on balls.
  • Exit James Shields, stage left.
  • Enter Jacob Turner from behind curtain.
  • Juan Centeno singles. Rosario runs downstage, is out at home. Two outs.
  • Byron Buxton doubles, Centeno to third.
  • Brian Dozier reaches first on throwing error by Todd Frazier upstage. Centeno scores. 6-2 Twins.
  • Dozier steals second.
  • Jorge Polanco hits ground-rule double. Buxton and Dozier run downstage to score. 8-2 Twins.
  • Joe Mauer base on balls.
  • Trevor Plouffe returns, stage right, hits home run. Polanco, Mauer, and Plouffe run downstage to score. 11-2 Twins.
  • Max Kepler returns, stage right, singles.
  • Miguel Sano returns, stage right, draws base on balls.
  • Eddie Rosario returns, stage right, flies out to left. Three outs.
  • Curtain.

It could be worse, you know. Charlie Brown managed a team that once lost 600 to 0; in an eerie echo of Jose Quintana, Peppermint Patty once pitched a no-hitter and hit five home runs, but they still lost 37-5. It's worth mentioning that that was a fictional team in a comic strip. The team we're following is currently playing in one of the Major Leagues.

It would be easy to pile on Shields and Turner, but that's already been done and it hasn't made any difference anyway. Shields is at a possible end-of-career point, which is too bad for all of us because the Sox are on the hook for many millions of dollars with the guy. Turner? I just feel sorry for him. The poor guy can't pitch, except batting practice.

The otherwise feckless South Siders got a consolation run in the sixth on Melky Cabrera's solo homer. Whatever.

I can only conclude that the division bottom must really be that comfortable place. Like flounders, the Twins dwell at the bottom, feeding on the debris of teams like the White Sox. The Sox, for their part, apparently want to share the joy of a muddy bed with their Twin City colleagues.

(*glub-blub*)

WSI's
That's all folks:
Charlie Brown couldn't pitch, either.


submitted by tebman.

Sox Clubhouse "Pick to Click" Winner

Chopper

No bottom-dweller, he. A proud fellow, whose example would serve this team well.

Play WSI's Pick to Click Contest!

 

2005 Championship Sox Fans

Click Here!
WSI's Glorious Championship coverage with Totally Biased attitude!

Want More
Totally Biased Game Recaps?

2003 Sox Schedule
Click sock!

 


1 to 1 of 1

Search For:
Search in:
And in:
Any Words All Words

News Categories

Totally biased Sox news from White Sox Interactive!

EXCLUSIVE Sox features from WSI.

Full Sox coverage featuring the unique WSI slant!

The Totally Biased Game Recap, another WSI EXCLUSIVE!

YOUR chance to be featured at White Sox Interactive!

The funniest and most-noteworthy posts from the Sox Clubhouse message board.

The internet's largest FREE Sox news database, sorted by month.

The internet's largest FREE Sox news database, sorted by day.


Totally Biased Game Recaps

September 30... Fulmer Out-Klubers Kluber

September 27...Thanks, Sox...Love, the Twins

September 26...Halos Rip Volstad

September 25... Pitching Delight

September 23... Abreu, DiMaggio, and Pujols -- Oh, My!

September 22... Gunning Down The Royals!

September 20...Close, But No Cigar

September 19...Texas One Step

September 16... That's A Big 10-4

September 13...Giolito Deserved Better, But Sox Take Series

WSI News System Page Views: 29,298,337