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WSI News - Totally Biased Game Recaps

Hitless? No Wonder.

July 16 vs. the LA Angels of Wherever


Toon Squad Update:
Donald Duck
Swinging and missing, passing up chances, building frustration. Who does it better?

Short Take:The White Sox were shut out 1-0 by the Angels, achieving the dubious mark of 33 consecutive scoreless innings.

A common metaphor for resilience is to say that one has backbone: he "stiffened his spine," or he "straightened his back" to meet the challenge. The reverse is also true: we say that a crushing defeat has "broken the back" of the vanquished party. Interesting that all these allegorical devices have to do with the spinal column, which contains 33 vertebrae to marshal that determination.

Remarkably, 33 is also the number of consecutive innings the White Sox have gone scoreless. Hitting takes resilience and focus, backbone qualities that have been noticably absent from the very pale hose since the All-Star break. The Sox reached that ignominious milestone tonight as they were shut out, again, 1-0 by the Angels of Los Angeles or Anaheim or Cucamonga or wherever they say they're from.

I don't know. Maybe somebody put Vaseline on the bats. Maybe the team is jet-lagged. Maybe they're thinking too hard, which reminds me of the wisdom of Crash Davis: "Don't think. You'll only hurt the ballclub."

All they needed was a single run to stay alive and they couldn't do it. They had chances, as they often do, but lost their nerve when the ball was supposed to hit the bat. James Shields pitched the whole game, gave up the one run, and looked good doing it. From the time he joined the team until now he's gone from dumpster-fire-in-a-train-wreck to crafty-Major-League-inning-eater. Too bad the hitters have not moved beyond baton-twirlers-in-the-batter's-box.

Aw, nuts. Let's give some credit to halo starter Matt Shoemaker. He was good, but he'd have to repeat tonight's feat against a real lineup to prove that this game wasn't a gimme against a team with holes in their bats.

I'd like to recount some highlights, but, uh, there weren't any. Justin Morneau started tonight as DH, but he went 0-for-4, one of which was a strikeout with two men on base to end the game. Poetic, eh? Heads up, Rick! The trade deadline's approaching -- there must be more washed-up hitters looking for work.

33 scoreless innings. You know, the raven makes 33 distinct sounds. Coincidence? I say nevermore.

WSI's
That's all folks:
The Sox apparently reviewed one of Donald Duck's old films: "How To Have An Accident In The Home."


submitted by tebman.

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James Shields

Winner of the Comeback Player of the Last Couple Months award. Pitched all eight innings, looked sharp, but to no avail.

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Totally Biased Game Recaps

September 29... The Last (And Lost) Weekend

September 24... Covey Captivates, but Kluber Cruises

September 22... At Least They Won't Clinch Here

September 18...Klubered, but Not Clobbered

September 16... Baltimore Blanked

September 10... Thrown Away

September 8... Anaheim Annihilation

September 3... Power Special

September 1... 18 Strikeouts Later, the White Sox Lose

August 30...Leaky Bullpen Bombed by Boston

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