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WSI News - Totally Biased Game Recaps

Shields Gives Cleveland A Free Meal

June 18th vs. the Cleveland Indians


Toon Squad Update:
Mr. Magoo
Shields couldn't find his way out of the second inning. Magoo, you've done it again!

Short Take: In his third demonstration of pitching inability, James Shields lasts less than two innings as he leads the Sox to a 13-2 trouncing by the Indians.

I'm no cook, but food preparation intrigues me. Take hash, for instance. A random assortment of leftovers are collected, all are combined in a skillet with scattered spices and condiments, and when cooked together what seemed promising emerges as a colorless mass. By itself, it's pretty tasteless, but with the right amount of lively peppers and maybe an egg for texture, you might get something palatable.

Or maybe you won't. You might just get somethng you end up covering in ketchup to conceal its shallow character. Oh well, you say, there's another meal tomorrow. I'll go back to the store and get some fresh ingredients and do it right next time. Until then you're stuck with some indigestion and an annoying aftertaste.

The White Sox played the Indians today. Or rather, the White Sox appeared in Cleveland while the Indians took batting practice. The final tally was 13-2, but don't be fooled by the close score; the Sox looked worse. James Shields started today. He didn't finish.

You remember Big Game James? He gave up eight runs, all earned, on seven hits and three walks, and pulled off that remarkable feat in only 1-2/3 innings. Matt Purke followed Shields and gave up two earned runs of his own, after walking in one of Shields' runners. Matt Albers let three more come home in only one inning of work. In other news, Jose Abreu hit a two-run homer.

And there's your score, a basic arithmetic function adding up to 13-2. Can't pitch, can't hit, and today couldn't field too well. Ugh...I've got indigestion again. Must be that hash.

Who's working the skillet here? Rick Hahn went to some trouble to deal for Shields, who in three appearances has done little more than wear out the bullpen. He also got Todd Frazier, who's now comfortably below the Mendoza line. Jose Abreu has begun to pick up the pace, but he's still not the Abreu we've known for the past couple years.

Hash is made when you've got nothing the in cupboard and your fridge has only random leftovers. You put the pieces together and hope for the best. Yeah, it'll fill your stomach for a while, but that heartburn and reflux are reminders of what could've been if you'd stocked your pantry with fresh provisions.

The White Sox have made hash. The Sox traded a couple of minor-league condiments for an overcooked, leftover pitcher, and we're all reaching for the Alka-Seltzer. Like the cook who realizes the hash isn't very good, Rick Hahn can say there's another seasonal meal next year, and fresh goods will make it into a better meal.

But the cook needs to know how to tell the difference between what's fresh and what's past its due date. If he can't, we can all look forward to more sour stomachs.

WSI's
That's all folks:
Let's go shopping! I'll take two left-handed bats and drop off an overpriced arm in the recycle bin.


submitted by tebman.

Sox Clubhouse "Pick to Click" Winner

Jose Abreu

A bit of dignity with a 2-run homer. Thanks, man.

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Totally Biased Game Recaps

September 29... The Last (And Lost) Weekend

September 24... Covey Captivates, but Kluber Cruises

September 22... At Least They Won't Clinch Here

September 18...Klubered, but Not Clobbered

September 16... Baltimore Blanked

September 10... Thrown Away

September 8... Anaheim Annihilation

September 3... Power Special

September 1... 18 Strikeouts Later, the White Sox Lose

August 30...Leaky Bullpen Bombed by Boston

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