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WSI News - Totally Biased Game Recaps

An Epic Tale With No Heroes

May 28th vs. the Kansas City Royals


Toon Squad Update:
The Beagle Boys
A team of bumblers. Couldn't break into Scrooge McDuck's money bin, couldn't get two more outs without giving up seven runs.

Short Take:In a game that deserves its own epic poem, David Robertson and Tommy Kahnle blew a 7-run lead in the ninth to lose to the Royals 8-7 in Kansas City.

The White Sox lost to the Royals today 8-7. More on that later.

Metaphors and allegories are useful things. Both have been tools of the artist and storyteller for thousands of years. We call great literature "great" because its themes, its characters, and its messages carry to our age and beyond.

In The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, Coleridge's epic poem of an ill-fated Antarctic voyage, the story begins as the Mariner tells of the bright prospects of the ship as it set sail:

The ship was cheered, the harbour cleared,
Merrily did we drop
Below the kirk, below the hill,
Below the lighthouse top.

But the ship found itself in a fierce storm of ice and snow. A bird appeared, a welcome omen in a rough sea, and led the ship into a favorable south wind.

And a good south wind sprung up behind;
The Albatross did follow,
And every day, for food or play,
Came to the mariner's hollo!

After following the albatross for a time, a misty fog envelops the ship. The Mariner draws his arrow and shoots the bird that thus far had brought them good fortune. Why did he do it? Who knows? Maybe he thought the bird's guidance had been a cruel joke he and blamed it for the sudden fog. Maybe he was jealous of the the rest of the crew's grateful affection, maybe he thought he could gain some of the bird's power if he killed it. These are questions of interpretation that English literature scholars chew on when they gather to sip brandy.

The ship's luck changes for the worse. There is no wind and a hot sun. Drinking water is used up, leading to these famous lines:

Water, water, every where,
And all the boards did shrink;
Water, water, every where,
Nor any drop to drink.

The crew blames the Mariner, since he killed the bird that had initially brought them good luck. In a fit of rage they hang the dead bird around the Mariner's neck, which he wore as a mark of shame:

Ah! Well a-day! What evil looks
Had I from old and young!
Instead of the cross, the albatross
About my neck was hung.

Eventually all but the Mariner die of thirst. And eventually the ship is lost and the Mariner is the lone survivor who is saved. His burden is to travel the world telling his story. At the story's end the Mariner shuffles away carrying his heavy burden:

He went like one that hath been stunned,
And is of sense forlorn:
A sadder and a wiser man,
He rose the morrow morn.

Back to the ballgame.

Here's the deal: the White Sox had a 7-1 lead going into the bottom of the ninth. The harbor was cleared. Because five relievers had been used the night before, David Robertson was brought in to pitch the ninth. He got the first out on a called third strike, but somehow killed the albatross and gave up six runs. With the game tied, Robin Ventura brought in Tommy Kahnle, whose central qualification was that he was available.

Luck changed further for the worse. Kahnle gave up the winning run, along the way demonstrating such wildness that he threw a wild pitch in an intentional walk.

I didn't know what else to say about this game, so I fell back on allegorical poetry. Too bad we don't have a dead albatross to hang around Robertson's neck. Ah, well...there's another game tomorrow.

We went like those that hath been stunned,
And is of sense forlorn:
Just sadder and no wiser fans,
We'll rise the morrow morn.

WSI's
That's all folks:
I'm reminded of the clueless losers in Robert Crumb cartoons. Like this game, they're not funny, just sad.


submitted by tebman.

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Totally Biased Game Recaps

July 14... Duffy's Too Toughie

July 7... It's Logical: Shields Pitches, Sox Lose

July 5...Sour Ending For Soria

July 3...Yoan and the Long Ballers Save Lucasí Tuches

July 2... Sad in Cincy

June 30... Tanking in Texas

June 28...Walking Away With a Loss

June 26...Yolmer, Sox In It To (T)Win It

June 24... BLOWOUT!

June 23... Defeat Snatched From The Jaws Of Victory

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