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WSI News - Totally Biased Game Recaps

Colonoscopy

May 31 at Oakland


Today's Game Rating:
0 Stars
The Sox offense gets shot and killed in the first three innings.

Short Take:   Axelrod pitches well, but we get shutout by steroid user Bartolo Colon 3-0.

Here's some depressing stats for you as we reach June 1st. The Sox offense is last in runs in the AL in runs scored (almost 20 runs below the next lowest team), last in team batting average, last in OBP, and tied for last in team SLG percentage. And it's the same garbage every night, .156 hitting Dunn batting cleanup with three K's and next to nobody around him hitting either. I stopped asking why one of our best hitters is batting seventh a long time ago. Friday night in Oakland was no exception. The Sox got a shutout by Mr. Human Growth Hormone himself, Bartolo Colon as the Sox dismal offense lost 3-0 to the Oakland Athletics.

Not much to say in this one. Dylan Axelrod matched Bartolo Colon for seven innings with a 0-0 game lasting until the bottom of the eighth inning.

That's when Axelrod allowed doubles to John Jaso and Josh Reddick to break the shutout. Matt Thornton then came in, was useless, walked a batter, and was relieved by Jesse Crain. Crain allowed a sac fly and a Coco Crisp single which eventually made it 3-0 Oakland.

Mr. HGH (Colon) mixed in a lot of fastballs and sinkers to the dumbfounded Sox offense. Dunn commented that he thought the sinker was one of the best they've seen. In Dunn's case, I think most people that throw overhand to him look good in his eyes. Colon completed the five-hit shutout as the Sox dropped their fourth in a row to fall to 24-28. Axelrod (3-4) deserved much better as he took the loss.

The Sox again play in Oakland today, June 1 at 3:05 p.m. Jose Quintana (3-2, 3.75 ERA) will face Dan Straily (3-2, 5.08 ERA) for Oakland. If you absolutely have to watch them or don't care for hockey, the game can be seen on CSN.

WSI's
Hawk and Stoney's Thumb Guide:
  Hawk: "That sucked, dad-gummit. Ted Willams from the grave could hit better than this." Stone Pony: "Thumbs down, this offense is the worst I've seen in quite some time."


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