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WSI News - Totally Biased Game Recaps

The Twins Are Crappy. They Are Perpetual Losers.

Sept. 2 at Crap Dome

KW's Daily Special:
Drinks on the house!
No more games in the dome! And we won today!

Short Take: Hey Joe Nathan! You just got served! Let's see you dance, sucka, you got nothin' on me!

With the Sox reeling on their current road trip, all of us here at WSI are starved for some good news. Well, I've got something good for you: The Sox are never going to play another game in the Metrodome. Ever. Thank God.

And guess what else? The Sox kicked the crap out of Joe Nathan and Matt Guerrier in the ninth inning Wednesday and beat Minnesota 4-2! Hey Twinkees! You just got served! Let's see you dance, sucka, you got nothin' on me!

For the first 26 outs of this game, it looked for all the world like the Sox were on their way to yet another Corpseball loss in that horrid dome. They were trailing 2-0 with two outs and NOBODY ON BASE in the top of the ninth. They had grounded into four double plays and made a couple stupid blunders on the basepaths. They had made Brian "Cy" Duensing look like a good pitcher, which he is not.

But suddenly, all that crap got cleansed with two swings of the bat. Gordon Beckham was down 0-2 in the count; the Sox were down to their final strike. But Bacon battled back, working the count full before taking Nathan deep to left to make the score 2-1. Next up, Paul Konerko. The captain also found himself down to his final strike. But on a 3-2 offering, Nathan hung a slider and Paulie ripped it out of the park to tie the game. Let's see you dance, sucka, you got nothin' on me!

Then, Nathan (2-2) crapped his pants. He walked Jermaine Dye. Pinch-runner Dewayne Wise stole second. Carlos Quentin walked to put runners on first and second, and suddenly, the Twins "elite" closer was gone. On came Guerrier, and he got served too. With an 0-2 count, Alexei Ramirez singled to left and Wise beat the throw to the plate to give the Sox a 3-2 lead. Next, Guerrier uncorked a wild pitch to allow Quentin to score the final run of the game. Let's see you dance, sucka, you got nothin' on me!

Unlike Nathan, Sox closer Bobby Jenks did his job. He nailed down his 28th save in the bottom of the ninth, making a winner of fellow reliever D.J. Carrasco (5-1).

The Sox comeback got Mark Buehrle off the hook. The lefty went six innings, allowing only the two runs on a two-out bloop single. Scott Linebrink, Randy Williams and Carrasco were unscored upon, setting the stage for the ninth-inning heroics.

At long last, the Sox are coming back to Chicago now. They've got a makeup game tomorrow afternoon at Wrigley against the Cubs. Carlos Torres (0-0, 6.75 ERA) will face Ryan Dempster (8-7, 4.15 ERA). Let's serve their asses too!

Critic's Corner:
Four stars, one for every two-out run scored in the ninth.

submitted by JB98.

Sox Clubhouse "Pick to Click" Winner

Dewayne Wise

Scored the winning run and secured the final putout

Play WSI's Pick to Click Contest!


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Totally Biased Game Recaps

September 29... The Last (And Lost) Weekend

September 24... Covey Captivates, but Kluber Cruises

September 22... At Least They Won't Clinch Here

September 18...Klubered, but Not Clobbered

September 16... Baltimore Blanked

September 10... Thrown Away

September 8... Anaheim Annihilation

September 3... Power Special

September 1... 18 Strikeouts Later, the White Sox Lose

August 30...Leaky Bullpen Bombed by Boston

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