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WSI News - Totally Biased Game Recaps

Sox Score a Perfect Square

June 17 vs. Steel City Pirates

"These ain't your daddy's White Sox... We're going to keep going after a championship as aggressively as we can."

KW's Hole Cards:
Beer Hand
Swisher and Thome sent the Pirates home crying in their beers!

Short Take:Our Sox bats gave Javier Vazquez more run support than he could ever ask for, scoring in all but 2 innings, lighting up the Pirates 16-5.

If you know much about the greatest subject one can take in school (math, that is), you know that a perfect square is any number whose square root is an integer, hence the term "perfect" square. Well, on this night, everything was "perfect" on 35th and Shields. The weather was perfect. The stuffed clams I had at the Stadium Club Restaurant were perfect, as was the banana cream pie that was almost as large as the dent our Sox put on the scoreboard tonight. Pounding out 16 runs (a perfect square) and 19 hits, our Sox chinked the Pittsburgh Pirates to death by 11.

I am glad I did not bring a notepad to tonight's game, or the notes I would've taken would've been longer than Martin Luther King's biography. Let me give you the Cliffs Notes version:

Our Sox scored in all but two frames tonight. Literally EVERYONE did some sort of damage! Things got started early on, as Jermaine Dye got a two-RBI double, scoring both AJ Pierzynski and THE Carlos Quentin.

Steel City went ahead with a four-spot the next inning, surrendering a crooked number back to the Second City on a round-tripper by Dye, and RBIs by the Cuban Missle Alexei Ramirez and Orlando Cabrera. The run Steel City got back in the fourth frame to tie it up would be the last breath of life they would get, for our Palehose didn't score JUST enough to win tonight! Instead, they smothered the Pirates with a bottle of kerosene and lit those jokers up for the 28,012 who were in attendance to see this one. NOW we can see why the Cubs have such a great record. If our Sox were able to play these patsies 12 times, they'd have at least 10 more wins and a comfortable double-digit divisional lead!

From the fifth on, our Sox added more punches in tonight's one-sided cage match. Joe Crede and the Cuban Missle gave us the lead for good in the middle frame. The Dirty 30 doubled Thome in and scored on a round-tripper by Crede the next inning. After everyone finished singing the 7th Inning Stretch, OC hit a two-run jack, and Thome hit a three-run round-tripper of his own. Because there is no Slaughter Rule in Major League Baseball, the game had to go on, even though it just wasn't fair. Tonight's match clearly was a "Men vs. Boys" affair! TCQ sacrificed in OC to finish Steel City off for good, the final spark left from the fire that ignited this offense tonight.

As our Sox displayed just a week and a half ago against the Twinkies, they can carry on an offensive onslaught for more than just one game. We'll see if the can happen again here in this series. Tomorrow night, it probably won't matter who Ozzie throws out in that lineup, as they're facing someone who probably wouldn't be on a Major League roster in any other organization. Tom Gorzelanny, whose ERA is higher than the Sears Tower, will tow the rubber with Mark Buehrle. Same time, same place, different channel (CSN).

Quest For the Final Table Update:
Our Sox wiped the table with the Pirates tonight. Oh, Pittsburgh, you are unworthy of even sitting at the same table as our first-place Sox!

submitted by chisoxfanatic.

Sox Clubhouse "Pick to Click" Winner

Nick Swisher

Wasn't retired even once tonight!

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Totally Biased Game Recaps

September 29... The Last (And Lost) Weekend

September 24... Covey Captivates, but Kluber Cruises

September 22... At Least They Won't Clinch Here

September 18...Klubered, but Not Clobbered

September 16... Baltimore Blanked

September 10... Thrown Away

September 8... Anaheim Annihilation

September 3... Power Special

September 1... 18 Strikeouts Later, the White Sox Lose

August 30...Leaky Bullpen Bombed by Boston

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