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WSI News - Totally Biased Game Recaps


April 30th at Minnesota Twins

"These ain't your daddy's White Sox... We're going to keep going after a championship as aggressively as we can."

KW's Hole Cards:
Jokers, anyone?

As Kenny Rogers (the real one) would say, “You gotta know when to fold ‘em.”

Short Take: If you're looking for a humorous take on today’s game, don’t read this.

Okay, let’s be clear about a few things right from the start:

1) We’re still in first place.

2) We play in a terrific ballpark in the beautiful city of Chicago.

3) The Twins are NOT in first place.

4) They play in a joke of a ballpark in a city that nobody in their right mind would want to visit and the name of which most of their fans probably couldn’t spell correctly if their lives depended on it.

5) All players currently on the Twins roster are either annoying, disgusting, or nauseating. Or some combination thereof.

6) We’re still in first place.

Now that that’s out of the way: a confession. This TBGR is something of a phony since the game was played on a workday, which means the writer (that would be me) didn’t get to watch it. Which, based on my research, is perfectly fine.

But anyway, here goes. Top of the first, somebody nobody ever heard of was pitching for the Twins. He walked Nick Swisher to begin things. Cabrera flied out, then Jim Thome doubled, scoring Swisher. Having perhaps been driven temporarily insane by his very natural burning desire to get out of Minneapolis and back to civilization, Big Jim foolishly tried to stretch the double into a triple. Dye popped out and that was that. Bottom of one, Nick Masset pitching for the Good Guys. Some guy named Gomez got a single and was promptly balked to second. Some guy named Harris sacrificed him to third. (Twins players sacrificing themselves. Hmmm, now THERE'S something we might want to encourage.) One JM walked, another struck out. Then some other guy--Crud something, I think--drove in the guy from third. After one, Aces wild!

Oh, hell; why stretch this out? Except for a hit here and there, nothing happened until the top of four, when Quentin homered to left. Would have been nice if someone had actually been on base at the time, but at least he put us in front. Momentarily. Unfortunately, the Twins got two in the bottom. But wait! We showed signs of life in the top of five. After Brian struck out, Juan Uribe doubled (seriously!) Hall flied out but Swish singled, driving in Uribe. Unfortunately, pulling even was as good as it got. After five, the score was knotted at 3.

Stayed that way until bottom of seven. A bunch of bad stuff happened and the Twins took a 4-3 lead. The Sox mounted something that was about the closest they got to a threat in the ninth. After Crede flied out, Anderson singled and A.J. walked. Pablo Ozuna came in to pinch hit for Hall, but they might just as well have let Hall hit for himself. Fly ball to center. Swisher struck out looking. And it ended 4-3 Twins. Tomorrow, the Sox get a day off, which they'll probably need to recover from all those mosquito bites, then they head up to Toronto. And the Twins and Detroit can do us a favor by beating each others' brains in this weekend.

Quest For the Final Table Update:
Still on top of the deck!

submitted by MarySwiss.

Sox Clubhouse "Pick to Click" Winner

Brian Anderson

Nice he’s started hitting. Too bad nobody felt like jumping on the bandwagon.

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Totally Biased Game Recaps

September 29... The Last (And Lost) Weekend

September 24... Covey Captivates, but Kluber Cruises

September 22... At Least They Won't Clinch Here

September 18...Klubered, but Not Clobbered

September 16... Baltimore Blanked

September 10... Thrown Away

September 8... Anaheim Annihilation

September 3... Power Special

September 1... 18 Strikeouts Later, the White Sox Lose

August 30...Leaky Bullpen Bombed by Boston

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