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WSI News - Totally Biased Game Recaps

Next time...

May 8 at the Minnesota Dorks

Back to the Grind,
or Just Grinded?

Today's Sox cut of meat:
Corned Beef
Our bullpen was salty

Short Take: That sucked

OK, nothing on the board in the first inning. Both teams feeling each other up out.

Vazquez rocked for a HR by the son of a blimp pilot, Morneau.



You know the game is in Minnesota when they do a long pan of the crowd and you can't see a single tube top, cell phone or shirtless dude. Bunch of dorks.

Sweeney gets caught stealin to snuff out the 5th inning. Rowand not only would have stolen that base, but he would have planted his face right into the 2nd baseman's knee and drawn blood.


The real mystery tonite is this: how has Bjork been able forge a decade-long solo career despite not having ever written a song with any kind of discernable melody?


Erstad leads off with a double, then Ozuna tries to bunt him over. But the ball goes straight to Bonser and he's got Erstad dead in the water headed to 3B. But he boofs the throw and the ball sails up the LF line. Erstad scores, Ozuna to 2B. Crush them, Sox. CRUSH THEM NOW!

A lovely ducksnort RBI single by A.J. He then scrapes Morneau's shin with his spikes and gives the crowd the finger. That is total class. Two more ducksnorts by Iguchi and Crede and it's 4-1. HOO-AH!

Oh no Sweet Jesus! Why is Vazquez pitching in the 7th? This is where it all goes horribly wrong!
Oh no there's a leadoff single!

W00t! He got out of it! Inning over! Everybody do the Mojito dance!

Oh yeah... Ozzie lets slip the bullpen wolves in the 8th, starting with the freakishly elongated Macdougal. I think he can touch his calves without bending.

...3 hits later and it's 4-2 Dorks closing in. "Thanks Macdougal!"

In comes the next wolf: Thornton.

Fielder's Choice scores another. Here come the stomach pains.

Next wolf: Aardsmaaa. He's got to get two outs.

Torii Hunter RBI.

Sometimes I think it might be interesting to live in Belgium. But I can't decide if it would be better to be a Fleming or a Walloon.

Here we go, bottom of the 9th, game tied at 4. Time for some Rainbow. Early Rainbow, back in the day when Dio could still remember things like the alphabet.

Extra innings. The quagmire ensues.

We come up short 7-4.

Back to the Grind Update:
Grinders? Erstad played, so yeah. He's a Grinder.

submitted by Chips.

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Totally Biased Game Recaps

October 4... Sad Ending To A Sad Season

October 3... The Shuck and Leury Show

October 2... BLACK FRIDAY!

October 1... Danks Loses KC Magic

September 30... More Bad Luck Thanks to More Bad Offense

September 29...Samardzija Is Royally Better

September 27... Hero Takes A Fall

September 26... Another Day, Another One-Run Fizzle

September 25... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ... (snort)... wha? Sox Win!

September 24... Beltran Edges Sox in New York

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