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WSI News - Totally Biased Game Recaps

We Gotta Get Out of This Place

April 17, 2007 vs The Pesky Rangers

Back to the Grind,
or Just Grinded?


Today's Sox cut of meat:
Vension Hide With Fur
Pretty Stale like our bats

Short Take: Sox Lose

It was a bright, cold day in April and all the clocks were striking thirteen... I sallied forth from my place of employment to one of the local sandlots. US Cellular Field, to be exact.

Missing the first half of the first inning was no big deal as nothing good came from it. So I will take you to the bottom half of the inning. The crowd was excited, perhaps too excited. Erstad stood at the plate, his heart was a flutter as he took a mammoth swing. The ball sailed into left field. The crowd jumped to their feet and laughter and applause filled the stadium. For a split second of a moment these fans thought Erstad was going deep. Alas, this hillbilly makeshift centerfielder flew out to left and all was lost. Iguchi was up next and boy does that young man have an eye on him like an eagle flying through the trees of Northern Wisconsin. He walked on four straight pitches, maybe more. No time to count as Brandy had to be sipped inconspicuous. Thome steps into the batters box and looks Tejada dead in the eye ready to send a fastball deep to center and bust this game open. He launches the second pitch deep down the line, the crowd reacts much like the Erstad at-bat and rushes to their feet with cheers coming from the inattentive folks thinking Thome did some damage. Too bad, foul ball. Iguchi makes a mad dash for second on the ensuing pitch. No throw is even made to second as Iguchi made it there fast and clean. More Brandy was sipped and Thome walked. Konerko sends an 0-2 pitch deep to center, Gooch advances and Thome stays put. Time for Dye to take the lead, but nope, he makes an out, lousy major league hitting.

Teixeira makes an out. Garland is standing on the mound ready to face his next opponent as the silent calm of the crowd turns to boos. Garland looks around the stadium like a child wandering into the middle of movie unaware of what is going on. “Why are they booing me?” he thinks to himself as Sammy Sosa makes his way to the plate. Six pitches and Garland strikes out Sosa. Brandy is sipped. Blalock flies out.

Sausage wins the Connie’s Pizza Race

AJ, well he fouls out. Crede, yep he’s out too. Enter Mackowiak wearing #10 in honor of Inglewood Rapper Mack 10. Choke your river with his dead as Mack 10 continues to lower his sub par average. Inning over.

The Pride Crew makes their way onto the dugouts as Will Smith gets jiggy with it. That ends quickly and we can focus on the game

Kinsler stands in the batter’s box, his eyes shifting between Garland and the centerfield scoreboard flashing a birthday message for Tom Kinsella from his main squeeze, Jen. Wilkerson strikes out; Garland gives a fist pump and prepares to pitch to Laird. He works his way to a three and two count. And like that, you can cancel the post game show. Laird takes a pitch deep to center for a double, a ball that Anderson would have had easily, maybe. Lofton comes up with RBI on his mind and mind on his RBI. A pitch from Garland is taken down the third base line, definitely in foul territory, but not out of reach from a sliding Joe Crede. Well maybe a little out of reach, because Crede can make this DHL Delivery. Anyway, a few more pitches and inning over,

Fans turn to the fundamentals deck for the sights and sounds of inter inning play. Switch by the Seventh time. It is still unclear on whether or not, the switch is made. Godspeed, sweet switcher. Stay tuned…

Cintron pops out. Erstad steps up to the plate and makes an out to second. You can here the Erstad haters bellow “Anderson would have the elusive five run Grand Slam Home Run.” Mrs. Whitesoxwilkes drops her pen and El Duderino is still missing. Was he arrested? The world may never know.

To the fundamentals deck, The Little Kid takes his place at the tee. Two pitches fail to leave the yard. The final ball is placed upon the tee and with a twinkle in the eye and a slight smile on his lips; this man-mountain takes a swing and jacks it into the left field stands like some type of modern-day Paul Bunyan. Put Babe the Blue Ox out to pasture, folks, because this home run doesn’t need no beast of burden. The bases rounded, the fake fireworks fired, Little Kid is able to lounge on the bench and reap the whirlwind. Top o’ the line home run, Little Kid, top o’ the line.

Back to the game. Jim Thome steps into the box, his hand giving the stop sign as he plants his feet eagerly awaiting the pitch. Perhaps too eager as the bat flies into the first or second row of 128. Then with the sweet swing that we grew to love last summer, he launched a high sinker deep to center. A four hundred foot plus shot. Word Up Thome. Sox lead 1-0 and Jim Thome will touch ‘em all.

Does anyone really want to discuss the rest of the game? I sure don’t. Five innings and three home runs later, the Sox lost 8-1.

How about a win tomorrow?

Once again, Sox lose 8-1.

WSI's
Back to the Grind Update:
No win, no grinders.


submitted by Chips.

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