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WSI News - Totally Biased Game Recaps

Alone in the clouds all blue

April 10th at the Scum laden A's

Back to the Grind,
or Just Grinded?


Today's Sox cut of meat:
Tony's Italian Beef
It's Excellent

Short Take: Sox lose

Call me Chips. And so our South Side heroes found themselves out west,hoping for a better result than that which befell the Donner Party. Podsednik stepped into the batters box with elastic bands keeping his shoes on. Watching buttercups cup the light he flew out and went back to the dugout. Erstad with his amazing powers of observation grounded to second and went back to the dugout. Konerko got out and he too went back to the dugout..

After Kendall popped out or grounded out, I wasnít exactly sure as I was engaged in conversation with a fair maiden at the tavern, Shannon Sharpe took a 3-1 pitch to right field. Milton Bradley stepped into box. Strike one. Boos filled the park. Strike two. More boos. In Neal Cotts fashion, Garland tossed three straight balls to Bradley. Wotís Uh the deal with that? His blood has frozen & curdled with fright, his knees have trembled & given way in the night, his hand has weakened at the moment of truth, his step has faltered and Garland surrendered the free pass. No fear, folks. The next two schmucks went down and out. Stay tuned...

Some stuff happened in the second, third, and fourth innings. Mostly outs, it was quite boring, the real action occurs in the dugout after Garland got Crosby to go down swinging or something. He walked into the dugout to find Buehrle drinking Carlo Rossi. Actually, Garland was a big fan of the Carlo Rossi and turned Mark onto it in the first place. He put a lot of ice cubes in his. There were times when he would come back to the dugout with ice cubes sticking up above the top of the glass and HAD MORE CUBES IN HIS HAND!!! Good times.

The fifth inning started and the scores at the Pub Quiz were, HSBC with 80, "Group #3" with 80, Cubs Suck (I think this was Dump's team) with 75, Steve & Steve with 70 and Vinny Jones with 65; the score of the Game was nothing apiece. As the scores were being announced, AJ continued his path down mediocrity and got out. Cintron snuggled into the batters box to watch pitch after pitch fly out of the zone. Standing at first you could see a twinkle in his eye and you knew something good was going to happen. Mack got a hit. Uribe came up and got himself a hit. Across the clouds, I saw Cintron's shadow fly, out of the corner of my watering eye I saw him cross the plate. The Sox led 1-0. There's no sensation to compare with this suspended animation, a state of bliss.

Garland came to the mound, for four innings his majesty was in command. With silver eyes the scarlet eagle showered strikes on the scum laden Aís. With one pitch, Buck roped a triple to right field. Garland had a blank look. As usual.

No fear, Garland retired the next three schmucks and the Sox escaped what could have been a brutal inning. Nothing of grandeur occurred in the sixth inning other than the cameo appearance of Alan Embree. Big Whoop.

The game moved onto the seventh inning when Cintron got to third on a three base error. Would the Sox drive him home? I could only hope as the final scores of the quiz were read off. Group #3 with 105 points, Dumpís team with 110 points. Steve & Steve with 110 points, Vinny Jones with 115 points and the winners again HSBC with 125 points. The prize was claimed and I paid for our drinks. There was a train to catch and my suspense for what was to happen in the game was unbearable. A stroll though the quiet neighborhood Riverside led me to the Metra station where I anticipated getting home to watch the last few innings of the game which were so brilliantly being recorded on my antiquated VCR.

Each inning, Garland leads the boys closer and closer to triumph, and then Bobby Jenks -- a whale of a man himself -- goes and loses the game.Thar he blows! The good ship shatters into kindling, capped off by Pods making a horrible play in left... and the game sank out of reach, into the murky waters of San Francisco Bay...

The sweet smell of a great sorrow lies over the land plumes of smoke rise and merge into the leaden sky, Pods lies and dreams of green fields and rivers but awakes to a morning with no reason for waking He is haunted by thememory of a lost game in his dreams. Sox fans would awake the next morning to review the wreckage, and tremble in anticipation of Ozzie's next profanity-laced tirade which would surely come...

Happy Birthday, robiwho

Sox lose 2-1

WSI's
Back to the Grind Update:
No, no grinding tonight, baby


submitted by The Excellent Chips.

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Jon Garland

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