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WSI News - WSI Spotlight

Ex-Cub Factor

by Senor Sock

Okay, the White Sox didn‘t make it this year and you’re feeling as low as Juan Uribe’s OBP. But that’s no reason not to enjoy the baseball playoffs. In addition to having almost an entire team of ex-Sox in the post season to cheer for, there is also the late Mike Royko’s baseball theory. The great Chicago columnist had a formula for determining who would win the World Series and playoffs: in a nutshell, the team with the most ex-Cubs on their team loses.

Sox Fan, and Hollywood celebrity, Senor Sock!

Royko’s theory was that once stained with the perennial losing of the northsiders, no matter where they went, ex-Cubs would be cursed to bring their losing ways with them. It‘s a good theory and has been proven again and again. It might be noted the only ex-Cub the Sox had going in to last year’s world series was Jon Garland. And he never actually played for the Cubs in the majors. The Astros had Jose Vizcaino who played with the Cubs from 1991-93. That was enough for us to sweep.

With the ex-Cub factor in mind, it definitely gives Sox fans something to help handicap this year’s playoffs.

In the National league, the Dodgers never had a chance: they are infested with ex-Cubs: Greg Maddox, Kenny Lofton, Ramon Martinez and Normar Garrciaparra. Their manager, Grady Little served as a Cubs special assistant in 2004-2005. Apparently he hadn’t learned enough about losing with Boston so he had to study with the Cubs. The Dodgers opponents, the New York Mets, have only one player tainted by his north side affiliation, Steve Trachsel. They also have former Cub coach Sandy Alomar Sr.

In the other playoff series, the Padres have former Cubs Mark Bellhorn and Todd Walker while the Cardinals believed in Royko’s theory enough to make sure there were no ex-Cubs on their roster. They even sent Jose Viscaino to the minors as a precaution. However, there is a wild card in this equation as Cardinal manager Tony LaRussa once modeled a Cub uniform back in 1973. However, this could be balanced out by the presence of former Cubs Tye Waller coaching first for the Padres.

In the American League, the series between the Yankees and the Tigers appears to be a real toss up. The Tigers have Nefti Perez. The Yankees have Kyle Farnsworth. However, the Yanks are also burdened with former Cub Larry Bowa lurking in the coaching box.

The Twins have virtually no chance against the A’s. Not only do they have ex-Cubs Rondell White and Phil Nevin on their active roster, but coaches Jerry White and Rick Stelmaszyk also played for the Cubs during the dark days of the 1970’s.

Which leaves the Oakland A’s. The A’s are the club that has most taken Mike Royko’s theory to heart. Forget about Moneyball and OBP, the A’s have no ex-Cubs on their roster, and none on their coaching staff. Rumor has it they don’t even allow any ex-Cubs into the stadium. They would appear to be a cinch to win the AL pennant and the world series, which is good for ex-Sox Frank Thomas. Say what you want about the Big Hurt, but I’m hoping he makes it to the series. He’s still the best hitter to ever wear a Sox uniform.

The other ex-Sox in the playoffs are almost enough to field a team, The line up might look something like this:

If Fred and Barney can make time with Ann Margrock, why not a sock?

Lf Kenny Lofton

cf Mike Cameron

rf Magglio Ordonez

1b Frank Thomas

ss Jose Valentin

2b Aaron Miles

3b Geoff Blum

c None available

SP—Orlando Hernandez; Estaban Loiza;

RP—Roberto Hernandez, Chuck Bradford; Alan Embree; Royce Ring

Mgr. Tony LaRussa; Jim Leyland

Coaches—Tony Muser; Gene Lamont; Jerry Manuel; Sandy Alomar Sr.; Tye Waller

Okay, I don’t think that team would win either, but it gives us something else to cheer for while we wait for our chance to retake the world championship in 2007!


Editor's Note: An idol in his native Argentina, Senor Sock became the toast of the entertainment world while a regular on E! Entertainment Television's Emmy-award winning "Talk Soup". He has been romantically linked to many of the world's most beautiful women, including Suzanne Somers, Monica Bellucci, Donna D'Errico, Halle Berry and Peri Gelpin. He has his own website at http://www.fortunecity.com/athena/women/254/index.htm and is of course, a lifelong White Sox fan.

More features from Senor Sock here!

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