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WSI News - Totally Biased Game Recaps

Kolon K's Kitties!

April 13, 2003 at Detroit

Today's temperature:
"Takes 2 out of 3 in Detroit, ending a nice road trip in the division.  However the thermometer will be placed square between his cheeks this week with division-leading Kansas City coming to town."

Short Take:  Detroit is awash in their own blood after another glorious Sox victory!

The Chicago White Sox have once again asserted their complete dominance over the infidels from Michigan, a glorious 3-2 victory inside Detroit, the Sox taking two of three in the series, and four of six on the road trip.

Women in both Cleveland and Detroit are beating their disgraced husband soldiers with their shoes!  The Sox return to U.S. Cellular Field where capacity crowds are a certainty!  However, for those of you reading this, go to the box office and tell them al-Sahhaf sent you, and you will be taken care of just fine!

 Sox starter Bartolo Colon was dominant through six innings, cutting out the stomachs of Detroit hitters with nine K's across seven innings work.  The glorious outcome was assured by a magnificent third inning offensive feat--three base hits safely to score a run and spot Bartolo the lead.  Brian Daubach walked to start the seventh, followed by a Carlos Lee single, setting up rbi's for Armando Rios and Joe Crede.

Those wild donkeys of Detroit were not to be defeated so easily, but it is absolutely not true that Bartolo walked the lead-off man and gave up to two more hits in the seventh to make the score 3-2.  Do not believe their lies!

The Detroit louts, those who still remain from the imperialist French colonial settlement, were soon committing suicide just beyond the White Sox dugout, as Damaso Marte and Billy Koch combined to hold the Sons of Motor City Madness to just one hit the final two innings.

When it was over, the children of these crooks and mercenaries and all their fans were forced to march a four-sided circle around the basepaths, beating their shoes into the bitter dirt where their team of infidels had fallen just moments earlier.

Kansas City is next.  My feelings -- as usual -- we will slaughter them all!

Tinkerer Update:
 Frank Thomas was not benched.  He was called to Cooperstown to be sized for a bronze bust.  Do not believe the lies anyone else tells you!

submitted by:  

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Bartolo Colon

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2003 Sox Schedule

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Totally Biased Game Recaps

September 29... The Last (And Lost) Weekend

September 24... Covey Captivates, but Kluber Cruises

September 22... At Least They Won't Clinch Here

September 18...Klubered, but Not Clobbered

September 16... Baltimore Blanked

September 10... Thrown Away

September 8... Anaheim Annihilation

September 3... Power Special

September 1... 18 Strikeouts Later, the White Sox Lose

August 30...Leaky Bullpen Bombed by Boston

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