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WSI News - Totally Biased Game Recaps

Walks & Dingers

April 27 at Oakland.  

Short take:  Pretty pathetic effort.

Let's get something straight right from the very start.  The Oakland Athletics aren't that good.  Yes, they cleaned our clock last year, but that was because our manager had his head stuck in the nether regions of his anatomy, playing two guys that couldn't hit their own weight while the whole team was busy vegging out watching "Meet the Parents".  We're a better team that last year's.

Oakland is not that good.  They did nothing to replace the MVP-caliber numbers of free agent Jason Giambi.  Yet somehow, our Sox play Oakland scared.  Scared!!!  It was never more apparent than today.  A lame effort to match the Kansas City debacle early this month.  The Sox lost 16-1, and frankly, had the umpire called the game straight, it might easily have been 25-1.  Yeah, it truly was that bad.

Here's the game's highlight:  Magglio Ordonez hit a solo homer in the second inning to tie the game.  That's it.  Nothing else.  How much more would you like to hear?

Ace Mark Buehrle has apparently lost the feel of one of his pitches.  So he got chased in the most horrifying third inning Sox Fans may ever remember.  Seven runs, six hits, four homers, two walks, twelve batters sent to the plate--and Oakland left two men stranded.  Unbelievable!

Mike Porzio was the designated punching bag.  Apparently Jerry Manuel is content to only use Jim Parque in games he can still blow.  Porzio's role is to fill meaningless innings trying to get the team their 27th out and a trip on the bus back to the hotel.  He couldn't even do that today.  He lasted just 1.1 innings and still managed to get charged with three runs himself.

Manuel wasted another four pitchers to cover the next four innings.  The bullpen is depleted and only a day off Monday will save their arms from falling off from overuse by Captain Hook.

Seven walks issued to Art Howe's softball team.  They wait out everything until one of our guys throws them a mistake.  Then they tattoo it across some distant fence inside their mausoleum of a football stadium, masquerading as a ballpark for the summer. 

Just stick a keg behind second base and make the softball league atmosphere complete, okay?

The Sox hitting was beyond terrible.  Mike Fyhrie had another career day against our guys.  He took his 11+ ERA through seven innings of shutout ball, allowing just four hits to our hackers and slashers.  Thanks to our Sox, the punk now sports a respectable 5.40 ERA.  It just keeps getting worse...

The Sox try to avoid the sweep Sunday, and finally come home to enjoy a day off.  Then they get to square off with Seattle again.

At least Minnesota keeps losing.  Small favors.


George Bova is editor and founder of White Sox Interactive.

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