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WSI News - Totally Biased Game Recaps

Sox Bullpen Beyond Bad

August 3 vs Minnesota Twins


Daily Sox Crop Report:
Severe drought killed 'em all.

Short Take: Twins take series after Sox suffer epic, self-inflicted 16-3 drubbing, at the hands of its own bullpen.

I wish I was an artist. If I was, this TBGR would be accompanied by a cartoon of Jose Quintana with an Eeyore look on his face and a single cloud following him around, dumping rain on his head wherever he goes. In the background, driving away, would be a dump truck with a large DFA on the side, and there would be 4 or 5 certain White Sox bullpen pitchers crammed into the back of the truck.

This was – again - not Quintana's day. The isolated rain showers that developed over the Cell and caused several delays set up an easy metaphor for Quintana and this game. Although the dump truck was almost afterthought, it's probably even more appropriate as a metaphor.

The game started ominously when in the 1st inning, Quintana gave up a single to leadoff hitter Danny Santana, and got an out - but then the heavens unexpectedly opened up over the South Side. A 40-minute rain delay ensued. When Quintana resumed the mound, he promptly walked Trevor Plouffe. Josh Willingham then grounded hard to third base, but Conor Gillapsie muffed the double play ball, and the bases were loaded. Quintana then plunked Kennys Vargas to gift the Twinsies a run. Fortunately, the next batter Chris Colabello hit a hard one up the middle that Quintana knocked down with his foot and turned into a nifty 1-2-3 double play to end the inning.

Then in the 2nd inning, Quintana's rain cloud started to weep again. The umpires shooed everyone off the field, but less than a minute later, the rain let up, and the ump waved everyone back ON the field. So in 2 innings, Quintana had already thrown 50 pitches and warmed up at least 1 extra time for a rain delay.

Anticipating yet another bullpen game for the White Sox, I began to stockpile nerf balls and soft dog toys on the couch next to me. (Hey, don't knock it until you've tried it - throwing stuff at the Sox bullpen is VERY therapeutic.)

Twins pitcher Kyle Gibson, who had a 1-0 lead and looked pretty good in the first few innings, began to make some mistakes. In the 4th, the Sox finally took advantage of several hanging sliders. A duck snort double by Gillapsie, followed by an Alexei Ramirez double down the third base line, tied the game at 1. Dayan Viciedo followed with a no-doubter over the left field bullpen to take the lead, 3-1.

Quintana muddled through a couple of more innings. As he was approaching 100 pitches in the 5th inning, and perhaps knowing it was his last, Quintana reached back and found a little extra to strike out two. A caught stealing by Tyler Flowers ended his outing, and he was in line for win number 7. But he left with 4 innings still to be covered by the Sox bullpen. I wonder if Quintana thought he even had a chance. Because let me repeat that: Four innings had to be covered by the Sox bullpen.

The Twins could hardly wait.

I cringed when Javy Guerra took the mound in the 6th, and unfortunately, he obliged me with a cringeworthy performance. Only 8 pitches later, Guerra had given up the lead, proffering meat for singles and doubles, and suddenly it was 4-3 Twins. Crowd booing ensued. I lofted a few dog toys at the TV. Can you spell DFA? I can.

Despite having a little trouble finding the plate, Taylor Thompson got the job done in the 7th. Brought back out for the 8th, though, Thompson couldn't get an out. He walked the first batter, and gave up a triple to Danny Santana, extending the Twins lead to 5-3. One more walk by Thompson, and Robin Ventura took the long walk to replace him with…gulp….Ronald Belisario.

Belisario could not get a single out. He gave up 4 successive singles, and suddenly a game that was in reach was in the toilet, with the Twins leading 8-3. The pile of dog toys next to me got smaller. Can you spell DFA yet? I spell it Designated.For.Attrition.

Ventura replaced Belisario with Eric Surkamp. The first batter Surkamp faced doubled to right field corner, scoring two more runs. At that point, the only way I could spell DFA (without using coarse language) is Designated.For.Apathy. Because I was ready to turn off the game, plus there were no more dog toys or nerf balls left for me to throw.

I won't even describe the rest of this inning in detail because it makes me want to vomit. Fourteen Twins batters in total came to the plate in the 8th inning. Ventura left Surkamp in to wear it. Infield singles, doubles to the corner, singles, pop ups in foul territory not caught…it was a serious case of Little League baseball. As a matter of fact, before the 8th inning mercifully ended, the score was 13-3. Like Little League, the 10-run slaughter rule should have been applied and the Sox should have taken the walk of shame off the field, because it was apparent they had given up. And no trip to Dairy Queen after the game, either.

Not to be left out of the bullpen bull****, Andre Rienzo came in the 9th and gave up back-to-back-to-back home runs to Chris Parmalee, Oswaldo Arcia, and Eric Fryer. At this point I think Ventura should've just put Leury Garcia in to pitch.

Nothing left to say except to borrow JB98's phrase and modify it for the 2014 White Sox: "The bullpen is crappy. They are perpetual losers."

Chuck Garfien of CSN called it the worst game of the season. Yep. I agree. SOMETHING needs to be done.

The Sox stay home to face the Rangers tomorrow at 7:10 CST. Hector Noesi faces Nick Martinez. I'll try to care tomorrow, after I'm done cleaning up the pile of stuff around my TV.

WSI's
The Futures Market:
 Dump the bullpen at any cost.


submitted by ChiSoxGal85

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