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WSI News - Totally Biased Game Recaps

A Midsummer Night's Nightmare

August 3rd vs. the Detroit Tigers


Today's Game Rating:
ZERO STARS
It doesn't matter how good the pitchers look. Losing nine in a row is bad box-office.

Short Take:The usual. John Danks got a quality start, the offense scored no runs, and the Sox lost 3-0 to Detroit.

They lost. Again. Nine in a row. This time a shutout, 3-0 to the Tigers. Where do we turn to give voice to tragedy? Shakespeare, of course. Had he been watching the White Sox this year he might have had some things to say:

Come hither, ye happy few, ye band of brothers.
For he today that spills his beer with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile
So as to countenance this team, this flock of pigeons,
These mewling, clay-brained clotpoles.

Aye, though the elder Danks may launch the fastball
Through the zone of strikes, there are homers anon,
Fie on Hunter! Fie on Peralta! Fie on Iglesias!
Alas, it is their home run passion that drives men mad!

But soft, as we cast our gaze across the emerald sward
Of dank Detroit, we see but naught: our Sox cannot score.
Shutout, oh shutout, how our gizzards churn! Our hands clench
In angry resignation: it is all for naught. All for naught.

To score, or not to score -- that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous shutouts
Or to take bats against a league of hurlers
And by opposing beat them. To end, this season--
No more--and by an end to say we end
The heartache and the thousand natural shocks
That fans are heir to. 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To end, this season--
This season--perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub,
For in months of hot-stove what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this morbid club,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes calamity of losing streaks.

We'll rely on Puck, who spoke Shakespeare's words at the end of A Midsummer Night's Dream. He can wrap it up:

So, good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends.

As if.

WSI's
Hawk and Stoney's Thumb Guide:
Two Thumbs Down! "Well Hawk, that's nine in a row the Sox have lost." "Stoney, I saw a player reading Shakespeare to get his mind off a losing streak. And you know who liked Shakespeare? Yaz!, because he had Old English TWTW!"


submitted by tebman.

Sox Clubhouse "Pick to Click" Winner

Chopper

Back to ol' Will Shakespeare: unlike the Sox,"His nature is too noble for the world."

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Totally Biased Game Recaps

September 28...A Royal Loss, but Hail to The King

September 27... Paulie

September 24... Same Sale, Same Bullpen

September 21...Danks and Offense Sting the Rays

September 20... 2014 Is Mercifully Winding Down

September 17... Sale Hit Hard

September 14... Sunday Afternoon Dud

September 13... Like One Win? Here, Have Two

September 10... Becoming Spoilers

September 7...Shut Out and Swept

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