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WSI News - Totally Biased Game Recaps

A Laugher -- The Wrong Kind

May 18th vs. the L.A. Angels of Anaheim


Today's Game Rating:
2 STARS
Lots of runs, but comically bad pitching. If a game has to work this hard for laughs, the comedy falls flat like a bad soufflé.

Short Take:The White Sox pitchers couldn't find the strike zone, and when they did, the Angels' hits just kept on coming as the Sox lost 12-9 in sunny Anaheim.

Hey, it's great to be here tonight! But what a crowd! You know, the last time I saw this many long faces I was in the paddock at Arlington Park!

(ba-dum-bump!)

But seriously folks, I know what you're thinking. How could the White Sox lose 12-9 to the Angels when the Sox outhit them 17-12? Knock, knock. Who's there? Nobody -- they were all left on base!

(ba-dum-pshhh!)

You know, the pitching staff flew to Anaheim for this series, and boy, are their arms tired! (ba-dump!) I don't know how else to explain it -- the Angels' hitters showed up today and the Sox said, "Here, try the Veal!" (groannn...)

Aw, gimme a break, folks! Or maybe I should say, give the bullpen a break! Hector Santiago is my kind of guy. . .you can't say he didn't have a lot of balls, especially in that fourth inning! (oooohh...ba-dump!) I mean, a homer, a single and three straight walks after giving up only two hits in the first three innings. Looked like he did some California dreamin', 'cause he sure wasn't awake!

(badda-bump!)

Nine runs scored, even with twelve left on base...if the White Sox were a shooting gallery, they'd be firing blanks! And how about that Donnie Veal, huh? Just back from AAA and he gives up four runs in 1/3rd of an inning -- hey, Donnie, the band'll be here all week, how about you? (ooohhh...groan) C'mon, folks, I mean we can take some of these pitchers anywhere, but they keep coming back! (brrrr- rump-pssshhh!)

I saw this game and was about to make a citizen's arrest on aggravated mopery charges. How can you leave twelve on base? There's only three bases! (heckler starts to interrupt) I know, I know, the paper says they're runners in scoring position -- but they don't score! Reminds me of a poor guy I knew in college...hey, I see there are some kids in the crowd! Sorry Junior -- ask your folks about that one.

The Sox had won four in a row until today. I guess five is too many, but it's a long season...really long if you don't score your runners. Reminds me of the guy whose doctor gave him six months to live...the guy didn't pay his bill so the doc gave him another six months. (badda-badda-boompsshh!) And how about that Hector Gimenez -- goes 4-for-5 with a three-run homer and he still has sit behind Tyler Flowers on the bus. No respect, no respect at all.

Thanks, folks! I've gotten some requests, but I'll be back next week anyway! (ba- dump!) And remember, if you think you had a bad day, think how Don Cooper must've felt when he found out the bullpen had an unlisted number! (ba-bam-bump- psshhh)

(Overheard as the crowd files out: "Did you actually pay for that ticket?")

WSI's
Hawk and Stoney's Thumb Guide:
One thumb up, one down. "Stoney, you know when I was with Yaz we saw a bad comedian try to make us laugh after a bad game." "How'd that work out, Hawk?" "Not good, Stoney. He ended up working as a mascot in low-A ball."


submitted by tebman.

Sox Clubhouse "Pick to Click" Winner

Hector Gimenez

Big day for the obscure guy: 4-for-5 with a 3-run homer, unfortunately in a losing cause.

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