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WSI News - Totally Biased Game Recaps

Offense? Offense? Bueller?

May 13 vs. Kansas City Royals


Today's Sox Crew:
Fledgling Carpenters
Humber showed the new guys how to set up the scaffolding, but Thornton accidentally walked into it while Reed was on it, and caused Reed to come crashing to earth.

Short Take: Humber pitches his heart out for the first time since the perfecto, but once again, his offense gives him minimal support against a horrible pitching staff, and Thornton and Reed serve up batting practice.

It's the same old song and dance. Not just the fact that the Sox got served at home once again by a crappy team, but also the fact that they cannot hit crappy pitching that even pee-wee league teams can beat the pants off of. This series mercifully concluded with the Royals taking 2 of 3, by a score of 9-1. You wouldn't know it by looking at the score, but it was actually a well-pitched game, at least as far as Philip Humber was concerned.

Humber pitched a extremely solid 6.2 innings, allowing one run on four hits with 3 walks and seven strikeouts. In the seventh, he'd walk KC SS Alcides Escobar and get the next out, then he gave way to Thornton to get the final out. Anyone who's seen Thornton pitch lately knows that this would be a circus, and of course, he walked Jarrod Dyson, uncorked a wild pitch to move both runners in scoring position, and managed to give up a game-changing 2-RBI double to probably the Royals' crappiest hitter, Johnny Giavotella. Just like that, Humber's pitching performance was, as they say, schwasted.

Speaking of schwasted, heralded rookie Addison Reed came in to preserve the deficit (which had grown to 3-1 after Jeff Francoeur hit a solo shot off of Nate Jones), and by the time he was done, he made fans want to go to the nearest watering hole and drown their sorrows in suds. He gave up six runs in one-third of an inning. Well, if you're going to suck, go all out, I always say. Eric Stults came in to rescue Reed, and managed to get the last two outs on the ninth.

You've probably noticed that I haven't said anything about the offense, and that's because aside from Paul Konerko's RBI single to drive in Brent Lillibridge, there was none to speak of. It looked like the Sox would get a break when Royals starting pitcher Danny Duffy left after recording two outs with an arm injury. Some crappy pitcher named Luis Mendoza with an ERA of 7 comes in and pitches a gem for 5.2 innings, and the Royals relievers slammed the door against the pathetically woeful Sox bats. So this is what hell feels like, huh?

Next visitor to "U.S. Cellular Pitching Hospital - come in and let our offense cure what ails ya" will be the Detroit Tigers, with Drew Smyly taking on John Danks. The Sox should get some kind of write-off for doing such a service to the MLB, maybe they can use the savings to actually build a farm system. Hey, at least the Sox fans will get to see what a real offense looks like. Just win, baby...

WSI's
KW Appreciates The Game:
"I appreciate that Reed showed he can't do the job - six more weeks of Santiago! What do you mean it wasn't a save situation? You're fired!"


submitted by MtGrnwdSoxFan.

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Totally Biased Game Recaps

August 20... Swept in Camden Yards Midwest

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