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WSI News - Totally Biased Game Recaps

Comatose in Cleveland

May 31 at Cleveland  

Short take:  Check these guys for a pulse.

Kenny Williams'
Stress Relief Odometer

Today's Mileage:
8
"Zzzzz...Zzzzz...Zzzz
....huh, wuh!"

Know Your Enemy!

Totally Biased
Series Update

Even more
Totally Biased Coverage from WSI!

PSYCHIC
Pre-Game Report

Inside
JERRY'S HEAD

Zzzzz.... Zzzzz.... Zzzzzz... Zzzzz....  Whoops!  Hey, Sox Fans!  My apologies to you, this Sox team just doesn't hold your attention the way--say a  major league baseball team does.  Watching them play a game is more like taking a walk in the park, then lying down in the grass and taking a nice long nap--say, three hours or so.

Our Sleepy Sox took a plane trip to Cleveland, visited Jacobs Fields, and took a nice three hour nap.  Sure, the game only lasted 2 hours and 44 minutes, but somebody from stadium security had to poke them with a stick just to get them back on the bus.  The clubhouse man still had to clean up, you know.

Final score:  Cleveland 7, Sox c0mat0se.

Gary Glover resembled something of a punching bag from the second inning on.  There were some ungodly shots flying off Cleveland bats all night.  One of them was Jim Thome's homerun, laced 20 rows deep into the seats above the high wall in deep left-centerfield.  The wall is 420 feet from homeplate.  You do the math.

Did we need to mention Glover didn't last five innings?  Okay, really he did, but that's only because nobody could find Jerry Manuel.  In his defense, those seat cushions in the Jacobs Field dugout are quite comfy.  We wish we could catch forty winks there, too.

In contrast, Nardi Contreras was looking as busy as possible.  He had the clipboard in one hand, a set of notes in another, a stop watch around his neck--all he needed was a gray sweatshirt with the sleeves cut off marked "Coach".  As for what was going on inside his head, we can only imagine he wishes the job classifieds were rolled up inside those pitching notes of his.  For all we know, maybe they were.

As for the Sox offense, what can we say?

<absolutely nothing happened>

Carlos Lee was the best hitter, he got two hits.  Frank Thomas got two hits, but he struck out once.  It was so bad, Fat-boy Bartolo Colon even beat Jose Valentin to first base on an infield nubber.  The Sox stranded seven men on base.

Manuel had Mark Johnson batting seventh in his starting line up.  What the hell was he thinking?  Is it any wonder the bottom-third of our order has gone stone cold the last three weeks?  He held a closed-door meeting after the game.  Hopefully more was discussed than simply who needs a new bunk mate.

We can only assume our guys will be well rested for Saturday's matinee.  They sure didn't spend themselves playing this one.


George Bova is editor and founder of White Sox Interactive.

Sox Clubhouse "Pick to Click" Winner

Matt Ginter

Two shutout innings of relief, allowed just two hits, 3 K's and no walks.  Stopped the hemorrhaging--not that it made a difference.

Play WSI's Pick to Click Contest!

 

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