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WSI News - WSI Spotlight

Kansas City Blues

Props for Kenny!
by Jim Laffer

Ho hum… another week… another best in the majors record finish for the Sox… That’s the White Sox… The Chicago White Sox…. And the reaction from the media both local and national has been a collective yawn. In fact, the most the Sox can say about the coverage for their best ever start was that Sport’s Illustrated ranked the Sox dead last for franchises to root for. No curses, no lovability, just losers and a horrible stadium to boot – nevermind the millions of dollars that have been spent to turn Soxpark into a more aesthetically pleasing place to watch baseball; nevermind that the sightlines have always been good; nevermind that the team playing there is on one of the great hot streaks to open a season in MLB history. None of it matters – the Sox just suck.

Of course it doesn’t end there. Kenny Williams has to field questions from an “unnamed” national media wag about how the Sox simply can’t be as good as their record because none of the pundits (read: know-it-alls) predicted it. The offense is too lame. The defense is bad. The loss of the big bats of Lee and “he-who-will-remain-namelesso” will come back to haunt the team. The bullpen is suspect. The starting pitching isn’t worth talking about even though it has the potential to be a top staff in the majors and better than any Sox staff since 1993 or even 1983. The Sox aren’t winning ugly according to the media, they shouldn’t be winning at all, and darn it – that’s all that matters. The truth will come out eventually. The Sox are smoke and mirrors. The Sox are luck and freakish plays. The Sox are simply bad. The media has spoken and thus it must be so.

Then Kenny replied… “We… don’t… care!”

And suddenly the sun was shining on Sox fans everywhere. You know those Sox fans – the drunken idiots who only live to beat up opposing coaches and umpires, the people who never show up to games, the empty blue seats, the jobless, the nameless, the forgotten – the worst fans in baseball.

That’s right, not only is our favorite team the worst team to root for, but us fans who root for them are the worst fans around. Nothing to see here, move along, move along, but 16-7 the record remains (at the time of this article) after two freakishly unlucky (some might even say scripted) losses out in Oakland and the Sox are home facing the mighty Tigers and Royals for six games sandwiched around and behind a couple of days off that will hopefully give the banged up players a chance to get back on their feet. Two games up in first the Sox are and ready to make some noise in the playoff hunt this summer. As April turns to May, the Sox are off to the most amazing start in team history and flying so far under the radar that the team’s belly must be scraping the ground and the fans are right there with them. Living and breathing this team’s amazing start like no other fans in the country. Rooting and cheering and bleeding and dying with every pitch that goes awry, every loss that rips our heart and every win that shouts “WE’RE FOR REAL!” Our manager talks funny and doesn’t say the right thing. Our GM gets no respect for putting together such a well balanced team that plays together with heart and passion. Our best hitter isn’t playing and of course Frank’s a cancer who will surely tear the team apart when he does return. Our closer throws to slow. Our lineup has no power. Our fans are few and far between and dangerous to boot.

We’re the White Sox and we’re number 30 in MLB in every category that anyone wants to talk about except our record - that’s #1. So let them say what they will. Let them talk how they want. Let them tell us we suck because we’ve got “Sox Pride” and We… Don’t… Care!


Jim Laffer is a lifelong Chicago sports nut living on the North side of Chicago. He was raised in Hyde Park and graduated from UIC in December, 2000. He grew up in a house famous for developing insights into economic phenomenon. Thus he doesn't believe it when the White Sox start crying poor.

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