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WSI News - WSI Spotlight

Sox Wish List (from a Sock!)

As we all know, it is better to give than receive. Unless of course, one is dating Heather Graham. In 2001, my beloved namesakes gave away games, gave away outs, and gave away a number of pitching prospects. In this holiday season, I have composed my own wish list while munching on jalapeno poppers in a Jacuzzi with Nicole Kidman. I ask nothing for myself; (although I could use a fresh glass of champagne!) I only ask for those less fortunate than myself (which frankly is most everyone).

NEW COMISKEY – Improvements that will give it at least some of the character its esteemed predecessor had.

TOMMY JOHN, RICH GOSSAGE, JIM KAAT – Induction in the Hall of Fame, only if they agree to wear their Sox caps.

TODD RITCHIE – To win more games than the guys he was traded for.

JOSE VALENTIN – A position all his own.

Yuletide Greetings from Senor Sock and his celebrity love interest, Suzanne Somers!

RAY DURHAM – A position all his own. Perhaps in Kansas City.

JOE CREDE – The sudden maturity and ability to make Valentin’s position be somewhere other than third base.

ROYCE CLAYTON – An entire year like the last half of 2001.

FRANK THOMAS – A third MVP award.

CARLOS LEE – A new glove. A really, really big one that covers most of left field. Perhaps the ground crew could help him bring it on and off. We have to do something because this guy sure can hit.

PAUL KONERKO – An end to any talk of trading this guy. The best is yet to come!

MAGGLIO ORDONEZ – A chance to improve that post season batting average.

CHRIS SINGLETON – 1999 all over again.

KEITH FOULKE – Reassurance he is not about to become Bobby Thigpen.

MARK BUEHRLE – A five run lead in every game.

JON GARLAND – To make Chicago happy he wasn’t traded for an arthritic centerfielder/ possible DH-1st baseman starting his walk year.

KELLY WUNSCH – 2000 all over again.

TONY GRAFFANINO – Along with that 2 year contract, clear instructions on the difference between a force play and a play where one must tag the runner coming into third. I was at that game with the Cubs. Even Charlize knew he had to tag the guy!

JIM PARQUE – A comeback of Biblical proportions.

JERRY MANUEL – The obligation to manage the American League in the 2003 All_Star Game.

KEN WILLIAMS – One trade (finally) at least as good as the one that sent him to Detroit for Eric King.

HERBERT PERRY – The appreciation of Texas management that he never got in Chicago.

HAROLD BAINES – An accounting error that finds the hits he needed to reach 3,000.

JAIME NAVARRO – A chance to pitch against the Sox. Please. Or a sudden pang of conscience that makes him realize he owes Sox fans approximately $30 million. He can begin by distributing it to those in the upper deck.

RON SANTO – Deserved induction into the Hall of Fame and a “W” in his fight against diabetes.

JASON GIAMBI – No clue as to why, despite his $120 million dollar contract, he just can’t hit ChiSox pitching.

BUD SELIG – A sudden flashback of what it felt like as a fan when the Braves left Milwaukee.

CLEVELAND INDIANS – More trades to remove high priced deadwood like Jim Thome, Travis Fryman, Bob Wickman, and Berto Colon.


DENISE RICHARDS – A sock in her Christmas stocking!

If even only half these New Year/Christmas wishes come true, 2002 should be a good year not only for those involved, but most of Chicagoland as well. Feliz Navidad, everyone!

Editor's Note: An idol in his native Argentina, Senor Sock became the toast of the entertainment world while a regular on E! Entertainment Television's Emmy-award winning "Talk Soup". He has been romantically linked to many of the world's most beautiful women, including Suzanne Somers, Monica Bellucci, Donna D'Errico, Halle Berry and Peri Gelpin. He has his own website at and is of course, a lifelong White Sox fan.

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