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Losing Ain't Cute

What can you say to salve the wounds of Chicago Cubs fans?  There isn't an honest one amongst them who would deny that their team's June swoon was directly the result of the humiliating three straight losses handed them by our Chicago White Sox.  The Glorious Sweep was their worst nightmare, one which they have yet to recover from.  For us Sox fans, it was the affirmation of the most basic tenet of our allegiance to the White Sox:  Winning is what it is all about.

How cruel it is that our child-like neighbors must now confront this absolute truth, which we Sox fans have always known.  The scoreboard relic doesn't matter.  The shrubbery and wall weeds are of no consequence.  The beautiful half-dressed ladies in the bleachers are only a diversion for a short while.  Baseball is played to win.  Oh sob, even inside Wrigley Field, Chicago Cubs fans can not escape the ugly truth.  This bitter lesson was learned on June 13 when Mike Caruso's two-run homer landed in Wrigley's outfield basket to complete the sweep and embarrassment of the Cubs and their fans.  The Evil of Cubs fandom fully revealed!

The Cubs suck and their future prospects are bleak.  Make no mistake, the 1999 Chicago White Sox won't win anything of importance either.  The Glorious Sweep will likely be the highlight of our entire season.  The Kids still have much to learn and Sox management must cultivate or trade for much more talent before our team will compete for a championship.  We Sox fans know this and accept this.  How uncharacteristic of Cubs fans to know and accept this of their team, too!

That's what makes this Cubs vs. Sox series at Comiskey Park such a study in contrasts.  Cubs fans spent the days before the June series doing what comes naturally to them -- being optimistic.  Hadn't they swept us in 1998?  Weren't they the National League's defending wild-card champion?  Who but a Cubs fans would even trumpet such a pathetic title?  Now they join us in knowing pain awaits before glory.

No such revelation is necessary for Sox fans.  Winning is all that ever mattered to most of us.  Good food, exploding scoreboards and fireworks nights have never defined us the way Wrigley's accouterments have defined Cubs fans.  We want to win and expect to win, nothing more.  Right or wrong, the media assails us for not showing more support in lean years when winning comes hard.  What the media overlooks is what separates us from Cubs fans.  The Sox's 82 year championship drought is precisely what defines us as Sox fans.  That's a long time to endure failure but keep expecting success.  It is not as long as the 91 years that the Cubs have gone without a championship, so doesn't that mean Cubs fans have suffered more?  The answer can not be shouted loudly enough,  "OF COURSE NOT!!!"  They love it.  The most perverted and demented bit of a Cubs fan's psyche allows them to embrace failure as a twisted masochist virtue.  It's only Sox fans who have known and lived with their team's death year after year after damned stinkin' losin' year.  Our team keeps losing and losing and we are still behind them, cursing our luck and determined to see it through to the bitter end.  For most Sox fans the bitter end comes with us pushing up daisies -- and the damned team is still losing.  Worst still, we know and accept this!  As Jean Shepherd pointed out, the bravest soldiers must be Sox fans because only we have known death every day of our lives and still it holds no terror for us.

So now Chicago's sports talk radio airwaves are filled with Cubs fans venting their spleens about the team's pitching, catching, fielding, hitting, managing, and general managing.  Nobody associated with the team or its ownership is safe from the withering cascade of second-guessing and anger amongst Cubs fans.  Losing is cute for just so long.  These infant-like Cubs fans are having their first eye-opening look at the real world it's an ugly and scary experience.  No newly-unvieled statue to Harry Carey will quench their thirst for victories and a championship.

To you Cubs fans I offer congratulations.  Your lives are infinitely improved now that you've recognized your problem and have admitted to your delusion.  Bravely take the next step and join with those who would cuss and swear at every misstep and miscue, but always soldier on to see the thing through.  A heartfelt "Welcome" to you new Sox fans.  Now you are us.

Read what your other Sox Fans have to say about
Losing Ain't Cute

 Since when is a wild card entry a champion of anything?  Only Cub fans can
ga-ga over a team that lost six out its last eight to finish in a tie for the
fourth best record  and then need an extra game to earn the right to get
swept by the Braves.  A Cub fan I know is now hoping for a .500 season.  They
just continue to set their sights lower and lower.  Before you know it, Cub
fans will take solace if they beat the Sox once in six games.  It is no
wonder the Tribune Company feels no pressure to put a real winning team on
the field.  If you want to sell a deed to the Brooklyn Bridge, stand outside
Wrigley.  You'll have plenty of takers.

Dan Helpingstine

Cubs Suck Newsletter, by Rich O'Connor

 Team           W  L   win%  GB
Cincinnati      47 35 .573      -
Houston        47 37 .560      1
Pittsburgh     42 42 .500      6
St. Louis       42 43 .494      6 ½
Milwaukee     40 43 .482      7 ½
Chicago         39 43 .476     8
haha last place!

Congratulations to Jose Hernandez with his league
leading 89 strikeouts!

And of course we couldn't forget the greatest
pitcher around, Steve Trachsel, with his league leading 12 losses!

*2nd to last in stolen bases!*
*4th worst on-base %!*
*3rd worst batting average!*
*2nd in least hits!*
*last in extra base hits!*

how about that awesome pitching staff??
*5.57  ERA thats the 2nd worst!!!!!!!! go cubs!*
*2nd most hits and runs given up!*
*and yes dead last in strikeouts!*

#6 Glenallen Hill
1-19 with a .053 over his last 7 games! Why didn't he make the all-star team!?

The fun begins Friday night at Comiskey as the Sox look to sweep the Cubs

Once a Sox Fan - Always a Sox Fan - regardless or where you may roam!!  The
Cubs will remain the doormat of Chicago Baseball no matter how many old
ladies and kids go and scream their usual "we want a hit" chant!!  Sox fans
are realistic enough to know we have a way to go to have a Champion - but it
gonna happen and its gonna happen before the Cubs get lucky enough to win
their division!  Never lose faith - Sox Fans!!  From a die-hard in Ft.

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Losing Ain't Cute?
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